#I wonder how long I could bullshit acting like I'm still in high school with someone. Not a clue what they're teaching kids these days

[solradguy]

My mom and I got our hair cut today (she had coupons :)!) and the stylist that did her hair asked her what grade I was in

I've been out of middle/high school longer than I was in it for...

[morlock-holmes]

Notice in the post below that the only named task that the OP struggled with is homework?

Now, people diagnosed with ADHD or similar disorders often do struggle with tasks that we might actually want to do, but almost always, the diagnosis is linked in everyone's mind to an inability to do homework.

But homework is fucking bullshit.

I really think it's absurd to ignore that fact when talking about how you complete tasks.

"Gosh, my kid seems to have a lot of trouble focusing on dull make-work which I force him to do for two hours every single day, why could this be?"

I spent literally as little time in school as I could and still graduate. As in, by my junior or senior year the principal sat me down and said, "If you skip anymore school we aren't going to be able to graduate you from High School."

And yet... When I bothered to go, I got good grades. I did generally quite well on tests and did eventually graduate. I'm quite proud of that as an act of self-mastery but it does raise the question:

Why was so much energy spent on trying to get me to go to school for all that time when I was demonstrably able to get the benefits with literal years less work than they wanted me to put in?

Why was so much time spent trying to devote those years to schoolwork when it simply wasn't necessary for me to learn?

Homework is a microcosm of that whole question. I always wanted to know,

"So, if I can skip 60% of the homework and still get an "A" on the test, why do you try to force me to do it?"

And to this day I have never gotten a good answer.

So: I saw no value in most of my homework and that hasn't changed to this day.

So, here's a pop quiz for the people wondering why their kids with diagnoses don't do their homework no matter what planning and techniques adults supply them with:

What would your kid have to do to spend less of their valuable time on homework?

"Well, if they just knuckled down and got it done..."

BZZT! WRONG! You get a "D-" on this test and I really hope you apply yourself more to the next one, you have so much potential...

If they "forget about it" then they have to do even less.

Now, of course that means that your kid is in a state of constant stress from avoidance. They are thinking, "Man, I'm going to get in so much trouble for not doing this, but I just can't seem to force myself to do it, and anyway I don't fucking want to."

You think that they'd be better off spending two stressful hours on their homework and then being able to relax the rest of the time. They feel like they'll be happier not doing it at all and feeling a vague undercurrent of stress as they go about their leisure time.

What's the third option if they want to spend less time on homework?

Oh, nothing? Is it nothing whatsoever until they graduate from school?

This is infuriatingly counter-productive. We spend literal years teaching ADHD kids that avoidance and procrastination are the only ways to exert control over their lives in the face of unpleasant situations imposed from outside.

Now, in point of fact this is absolutely not the case for adult life, which offers a plethora of ways to reduce pointless make-work imposed on you by outside authorities and, in any case, rarely bothers to impose two hours per day of unpaid, unrewarding make-work on people anyway.

How much of the difficulty ADHD people have with cleaning the toilet or whatever is because psychologically, they still think of it as homework? Cleaning the toilet is not homework; it rewards you with a clean toilet at the end and it's entirely possible to defer it, or hire someone else to do it, or find shortcuts. But if the major psychological task of your childhood is homework, maybe it might take quite a long time to think that there could even be anything aside from homework?

[peachipeachy]

cool with you ☆彡 - ch. 02

(gojo satoru x fem!cupid!reader) based on the "cool with you" m/v by new jeans.

warnings; mentions of bow and arrows, use of (y/n), high school era gojo, mild swearing, mad denial on reader's end lol, and apologies for the inaccuracies regarding any geographical information about japan :,)

(this originally was a big big honker of a chapter sobsobsob but i split it into two lol,,, also if anyone would like to be tagged or anything, feel free to let me know)

word count; approx. 1.7k.

masterlist

-----

act i; accismus.

n. a form of irony in which a person feigns indifference to or pretends to refuse something he or she desires.

(where a cupid refuses to acknowledge her growing affection for the earth's strongest sorcerer.)

"i always see you. you're very eye-catching,"

-------

what the hell had gone through her head?! she was losing her mind! she had to be!

(y/n), back atop some random kyoto rooftop and currently mentally kicking herself, had stood behind that tree trunk for almost another hour - remaining still long past satoru and suguru had left. this encounter with her human was too close for comfort.

as her eyes skimmed the streets below, watching the few humans outside during this hour, her mind carried her back to him and her cheeks grew hot. her human. he was, oh, so beautiful. so much prettier up close. from their distance, she had noticed that his eyelashes were the same colour as his hair, a delicate, fluttering white that perfectly highlighted the sparkling blue ocean of his eyes. not only that, his face looked hand-sculpted like the king of kings had commissioned his best artist to create him. simply put, he was gorgeous - enchanting.

he almost looked as cupid as she did - maybe even more so, in her opinion.

cold, night wind smashed her face and pulled at her hair, thrusting (y/n) back into reality. the reality where she was a cupid and he was a human. a simple, normal and unremarkable human. yes. that's exactly what she was, and what he is, and this is how they will stay. moving as parallel lines until an arrow needs to be fired.

(y/n) recalled how his eyes had almost met hers, his long legs moving in her direction before she had panicked and shot at him. granted, she missed. but hey, at least she gave back his glasses, right? that was her only objective anyways. no other reason..

however, she couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if she did hit him, would the spell of cupid still work if she was the only being in his line of sight? is that even possible? could a cupid ever fall in love with a human? moreover, could a human even love a cupid?

(y/n) shoved her face into her hands, a loud, frustrated groan leaving her. what the hell was all "love" talk even about? she couldn't care less about this...this...man? (y/n) groaned again.

all this time spent thinking about him when she doesn't even know his name.

-------

"so...what you're saying is...someone shot an arrow at you and had attached your missing pair of sunglasses to it?"

sitting in the tight squeeze that was gojo satoru's jujutsu high dorm room, shoko stares at him, unamused and unbelieving of his absurd story.

"yes! how else would i have these glasses back!" satoru whined, waving his returned pair in shoko's face.

her expression remained still, looking over at suguru for confirmation. "and you believe this bullshit?"

suguru chuckles, giving a nonchalant shrug, "i like to humour him,"

"do you at least have any proof?" satoru pushed his sunglasses closer to shoko's scowling face, shoving his hand away, "no, you idiot! like the arrow or something!"

satoru scratched the back of his neck nervously, a 'you're-totally-not-gonna-believe-this' smile on his face, "you know, the funny thing is...it kind of...like, disappearedintothinair!"

the pair deadpanned.

"it what?"

"it disappeared, okay!" he whined, sulking like a toddler, "it's like, it disintegrated the moment i picked it up...!"

shoko shot a knowing look at suguru.

"hey! i'm being serious, guys!" satoru deflated, pouting harder as four incredulous eyes stared back at him. "i swear to god...it had something to do with that girl again...!"

"this girl? again?" shoko groaned, "i already told you, satoru - you should sleep more because your dumbass is probably hallucinating,"

"i mean, shoko isn't wrong," suguru added, ignoring satoru's humorously offended expression, "anytime you tell us she's around, there's literally no one there,"

"that's the thing...i don't think anyone can see her..."

his fellow second-years perked up.

"what? like she's invisible or something?"

"i dunno..." satoru muttered, eyebrows furrowed, "i think it might have something to do with my six eyes..."

suguru piped up, "you think she's, like, some kind of humanoid cursed spirit?"

satoru sighed, thinking back on all the times he's seen her - watched her around the city. she certainly didn't give off any kind of cursed energy...not that he was technically thinking of that when he caught glimpses of her. its not his fault! he's still a teenager, and he can't help but stare when a pretty girl---

"if she is, then she must be pretty strong considering none of us can see or even sense her right?" shoko's addition brought satoru back into the conversation, "maybe she'll appear in our next mission or somethi--"

"no!" two pairs of surprised eyes fell on him, he cleared his throat, "i mean...she didn't give off any kind of cursed energy. like at all,"

"well, that has to be impossible," suguru furrowed his eyes too, "all humans possess some amount of cursed energy, significant or not,"

shoko studied satoru's behaviour as he spoke, "well, to be completely honest...i don't really think she is,"

"well," she started, knowing eyes on him, "while you were doing all this thinking about whether she is human, or spirit or whatever, did you think to ask her?"

satoru shrunk into himself, uncharacteristically sheepish.

"haha...no."

-------

as the weekend rolled around, instead of using his time to practice and be a diligent jujutsu high student, satoru found himself roaming the streets of kyoto looking for a specific set of (e/c) eyes framed by (h/c) hair. his search took him everywhere - from neighbourhoods to schools, to shopping centres, and finally, to a bench on the edge of a park-side river. satoru took the finishing bite from his ice cream and contemplated where girls would hang out. why can't he see or even sense her around? he's literally the strongest!

letting his glasses fall to the tip of his nose, he sighed. "if i were a girl, where would i go---!!"

satoru's nonsensical muttering is cut short by the sight of a familiar figure, standing in the middle of the bridge running over the water. despite the handful of people crossing behind her, not one seems to notice the still girl, passing around her even as she blocks their path. satoru's mood brightens - now's his chance!

before his brain could even send a message, his legs moved quickly, dodging other park-goers and bringing him to her side in an instant. though they stood together, she didn't seem to note his presence.

"hey," he starts.

the people surrounding them turn to him in surprise, yet his mystery girl doesn't budge.

"hey! you! (h/c)-haired girl!" he tries again, moving closer.

(y/n) keeps her eyes still, stiffening subtly, watching his pretty face move closer to her.

shit.

ignoring each one of his attempts to get her attention, she sets her eyes on the parkland horizon, trying her absolute hardest to focus on any pending bonds around. she breathes in and out.

find bond, assign target, grab bow, assume position, nock arrow, draw the bow, aim precisely and fire. wait, scout, repeat. that's her job. find bond, assign target, grab bow, assume position, nock arrow, draw the bow, aim and fire--

her attention is soon interrupted by a pair of large, warm palms on her shoulders, spinning her body to his, and big, curious eyes aligned with hers.

"c'mon!! are you really gonna act like i'm not here?" his whining voice forces her mind to a stop.

"h-huh?"

"so you do speak!" a grin breaks out on the boy's face, "c'mon talk to me, what's your deal?"

(y/n)'s brain finally catches up with her, and she straightens up, regaining her composure. and totally no longer distracted by his warmth or proximity. in a few blinks, she remembers where she was standing; on a bridge. in a park. with crowds, and crowds of people. she scans her environment and just as she thought, the hoards of people were staring. at him, specifically. she grimaces - right, they can't see her. unless she directly talks to the entire crowd, they'll continue to think this white-haired boy is insane, and talking to air.

her world spins again as he shakes her shoulders, attempting to regain her attention.

"you really like ignoring me, huh," the boy pouts.

(y/n)'s face feels uncharacteristically hot. she meets his eyes again and feels like her pulse is beating so fast she might explode.

"talk to me, dove, please," his voice is a lot softer this time, and (y/n) cannot take it anymore.

with a sudden burst of energy (and slight sensibility), she pushes her hands against his chest and pulls out of his hold. before he could even react, she turns her back to him and begins to walk.

this is good. this is what she's supposed to do. this way she's doing what's right, and he no longer looks insane. yes. good work, (y/n)--

"wait! at least say something! i can't let suguru know that a pretty girl ignored me...!"

(y/n) pauses. he continues.

"we don't even have to talk a bunch! you could just tell me your name or something!"

she turns her face to him, "stop talking to me. you look crazy,"

his expression brightens and she pushes down the warm way it makes her feel.

"wait! at least let me ask you a couple of questions! please?" he begs, though she sees it more as a whine.

she weighs her options. technically, there are no rules against talking to the humans. sure, it was mildly discouraged, but it's not like it's actually forbidden. and it isn't like she doesn't want to talk to him. in fact, she is incredibly, incredibly keen to.

(y/n) had made her decision.

looking around at all the bystanders, staring at her human like he was crazy, she let out a huff. she spins in his direction, taking hold of his uniformed sleeve and drags him off with her.

"follow me,"

a/n: lololol okay pls bear with me yall this worldbuilding shit is kinda hard... :( anyways i hope you enjoyed! thank you again!!!

-------

taglist; @satoruontopofme

[heavencasteel420]

WIP Wednesday

From Save the Last Dance for Me (tw: racism):

Lucas gets why Mike and Dustin have doubts about the basketball team. There’s a lot of bullshit that goes with it. Some of his teammates are the same kids who called the Party names and pushed them around in middle school, and now Lucas has to smile back at their stupid, bland faces. Everyone assumes that he’s naturally better at basketball because he’s black, so it’s no big deal if he’s good but the joke of the year if he’s shitty. And, while Jason is a nice-enough guy, his politician smile and cliche-ridden speeches can get under Lucas’s skin.  Yet there’s bullshit that goes with Hellfire Club, too. There’s a whole hierarchy, with Eddie at the top, the other older boys in the middle, and Lucas and Dustin and Mike at the bottom. If Jason acts like he’s running for senator, Eddie pretends to be some kind of evil trickster king. Lucas doesn’t begrudge him the theatrics—he appreciates how he throws the school’s disdain back in its face—but, sometimes, when he sees Jason and Eddie snipe at each other in the cafeteria, he just feels pissed off. You’re fighting over nothing, he wants to scream at them. There are monsters in this town. People have died.  Of course, Lucas suspects that, deep down, he’s just not a team player. 

From Tonight, Tonight, the Highway's Bright (specifically Jonathan's Fast Times at Ridgemont High English journal entry):

Before I moved to Indianapolis, I worked at a movie theater, so I saw a lot of movies, mostly in bits and pieces. That's how I first saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High, in the summer of 1982. I didn't like it much back then. I thought it was gross, and not in a cool way like The Evil Dead. Just loud and annoying. I don't feel that way now. It helps that I actually watched it from beginning to end, like you're supposed to watch a movie, but also I think you sometimes have to experience things before you appreciate a movie or a book or a song. I still don't like Spicoli. I can't laugh at him because I keep wondering what's wrong with him. Weed is good (disclaimer: not that I would know) but it's not that good. I still don't get the big deal about Linda (Phoebe Cates) getting out of the pool. She looks great but it's not real. I don't mean not real because it's a movie. I mean not real because it's all in Brad's head. She's not really looking at him and taking her bikini top off. (Sorry for writing about nudity in English class, by the way. I'm trying to be tasteful about it. But Brett Mason is sitting beside me right now, drawing a woman in a bikini. She's wearing boxing gloves and fighting a giant cockroach. It's very Kafkaesque.) Anyway, I keep thinking about Stacy Hamilton.

From Tomorrow's a Long Way Off:

Something inside of him froze. He thought they’d been in agreement about the trip to Indianapolis: that they needed a second car as soon as he could drive it, and that Lonnie was offering their only chance anytime soon. He thought they’d been in agreement about Will, too: that he had to be shielded from Lonnie’s moronic disdain. Apparently, though, she’d been working alone the whole time. And so had he. “I can’t talk to you,” he said. “I’m going to bed.”

[floosies]

Radio

early 2000s au

eddie munson x poc!oc

warnings: mentions of drugs, cursing, eventual smut, mentions of abuse, friends to lovers 18+

a/n: i feel like i should explain i'm writing this the way i remember acting as a teenager and how i remember my friends behaving, i feel like teenage angst should be honest no matter how dumb is it looking back at it. also this is gonna be a longer chapter.

Junior Year, 2008

Something had happened during the first couple of months of junior year. Eddie wasn't acting the way he usually had been last year. She noticed it happening before her. He had started ditching again to the point he just wasn't showing up most of the week. His replies were either paragraphs long or nothing and no calls anymore. He wouldn't talk to her at parties anymore either, just sell what he came with and head out.

In his head, Eddie was trying to spare her from his bullshit. His dad been trying to get him to go clear his name at his upcoming trial. Trying to push some bullshit about his mom and how she would have wanted him to do that for her. He hung up on him then and there, he remembered the countless times the psycho smacked his mom around like a ragdoll. He never forgot how he would hold his mom after his dad would leave her with bloody noses or a busted lip. She died trying to get away from him and it was some shit Eddie would never forgive his dad for.

He wanted to do right by Julie and his uncle, but people around Hawkins already saw him one way so it didn't really matter what happened with school. The thing he had left was the band and that was gonna be his ticket out. This was the year he was gonna try to get them onto the warped tour setlist. Fuck school and a diploma, it wouldnt mean shit compared to a platinum record and touring around the world.

Still he tried to do some justice by her, showing up to his classes. Not really doing shit but not causing a stir either. Julie was happy to see him sort of going back to his old self. She tried to figure out what happened and why he'd been awol for the last couple weeks. He brushed her off, and while she didn't wanna admit it, it hurt like hell to have him treat her like that.

Jeff had noticed how his friend had been off with her and at one the band practices he did his best to let her know that she was probably the only girl he actually cared about. Still it didn't feel like it sometimes, and either way they were just friends. As she watched them practice she realized it was probably time to drop whatever she thought was happening.

That weekend she didn't even text him where she was going to be at. They had started going to backyard shows together, usually it was where they'd be if she wasn't feeling up to partying. He started wondering where the hell she was tonight, her calls were going to voicemail and she wasnt replying to her messages. By nine he had messaged everyone he knew about where the parties were at this week, but the only party was at some abandoned house in the woods.

Liquor and weed is a hell of a good way to forget whatever makes you feel like shit. That was something Julie had learned her freshman year of high school, even before Eddie was in the picture, she felt like she was fucking everything up. Her parents had no problem verbally and emotionally abusing her, telling her what she could do better or how they had gave up their dreams for her. None of that shit mattered here, the music was blasting her eardrums and jungle juice was being poured to her by people she never hung out with in school.

It took Eddie a while to find her in-between all the people she was around. Her friend was the first person to notice him, she tried to get Julie's attention, when she eventually did, she pointed at him. Julie turned to look at him waving at her. She just nodded acknowledging him, but not really caring. Maybe he had that coming for how he had been with her lately but it still hurt like hell.

He knew it looked weird to follow her around, but he did it anyways. He didn't want any weirdo near her, usually she was with his friends or nearby him at parties so it wasn't that big of a deal. Eventually she pulled him aside to an empty-ish spot, her head jumbled by everything she'd consumed, she tried her best to sound somewhat sober, "dude I don't know why you're following me. Go have fun like everyone else." Julie had resigned herself to whatever was going to come from this.

Eddie looked at her confused the music was too loud, his head tilting down and his right hand gently gripping her upper arm, "I don't know anyone here. I came because I wanted to talk to you, you havent answered any of my texts or calls." He pulled away, her gaze following his, frustration and every other emotion building up, "is there anything to really be said? I mean you've brushed me off all week. Like cool I know that life is shit but you don't have to be a dick." She shrugged, "listen I just wanna have a good night tonight, I'm not arguing with you here." He shook his head, his voice defeated as he spoke to her, "I don't wanna argue either. I know I've been a dick lately, I'm sorry. Julie you're the coolest fuckin person ever, please I don't want you to be mad at me. I'll do anything! I'll fuckin get on my knees and beg." To which he actually did, this making her laugh and forcing him to get up off the dirt beneath them.

She hated how she couldn't be mad at him. How quickly she made up with him, but Eddie was just someone she couldn't deny. He spent the rest of the night dancing with her and following her around. The night didn't end as planned, Julie had gone to go get her friend away from some guy who was overdoing it, to which he tried to yell at her about cock blocking. Eddie threw one punch and the guy was out, but it caused enough of a scene for them to leave the party early. Julie knew he meant well so she didn't really hold the situation against him and even her friend had thanked him.

-

What neither of them expected was that he would run into the guy at school the following week. He was mostly just shit talking Eddie and his friends, which they were all used to, but by Thursday it had gotten ridiculous. At lunch time Eddie had become fed up of the guy, it was the same insults and shit talk about how it wasn't even a fair fight because he was drunk. The guy followed them to their table in the back of the cafeteria and kept at his bullshit, so biting the bullet Eddie finally told him to "stop barking like a bitch and accept the fact he got knocked out" to which the guy threw his backpack at him. Both her friend and one of Eddie's stopped her from getting in the middle of it as soon as it had started.

Eddie didn't wanna have problems with anyone but this guy had pushed all the buttons. First there was the incident at the party and now he had gone too far, he let the dickhead throw the first swing, which he missed and then swung back. The punches kept going back and forth just trying to get a hit in where ever either of the two could land. He wasn't sure when it happened during the fight, but this guy had thrown his skateboard off him. He'd been carrying it between the straps of his backpack for most of the day before the guy knocked off him.

It happened in less than minute but the action felt like slow-mo. She saw Eddie grab his board and swing it at the guy's face, like that scene in Wanted. The board broke and all that anyone heard was the crack of the wood. People scattered, her friend and Eddie's tried to get her to scatter, but she couldn't or wouldn't, Julie was frozen in her seat at the table. Both the principal and some teachers had showed up, someone called for an ambulance and she was taken to the office as a witness of the fight.

-

The yelling could be heard from the nearly quiet front office, everyone was trying to find out what happened. Staff even tried asking Julie, who still chose not to say anything. She knew Eddie could have a temper but she'd never seen it like that before. He might have done it now, but she was hoping for the best. Eddie and his uncle had been in there for a while with the principal.

She was waiting on her mom to get there. It irritated her that they had called for their parents. Mostly because she knew her mom would hold this situation against her, use it as more ammo against her social life and reason to have her sent to a private school. When her mom finally showed up and sat behind her she started her rambling, "you know Wayne was the better half of him and his brother. Poor man, he should have left that brat to the system." Julie was sure she hated her mother by that point.

After nonstop claim after claim that Hawkins was heading down the drain, it came to halt as the door to the principal's office opened and out came the Munson men looking slightly defeated and annoyed. The principal then called for Julie to come in, her mother giving Eddie's uncle a small hello before entering the office. It didn't take long to figure out that whatever she said was going to royally fuck things up for Eddie if she didn't word it right.

Ultimately she ended up calling the situation self defense even if it did go too far, that she blamed on teenage boys being hormonal and dumb. Her mother wasn't buying it, she kept repeating to her to be honest, which Julie had to assure the principal she actually was being as honest to the situation as she could be. When it was over with Eddie and his uncle got called back in. By then Julie and her mom had left, and he was given a week's suspension, told that he got lucky he was still seventeen (by some months) and that he needed to get himself straightened out.

As Eddie and his uncle left the school premises, they walked out to a shouting match between Julie and her mom. He heard as Julie argued that she wasn't defending him so much as that's just how things really happened. He knew her mom like the rest of the town mostly hated him, but this was as close as he figured she could get to looking out for him. What he didn't expect was to see her mom smack her, before he could even react Wayne had already gone over there.

The two adults were having it out like they knew each other, which maybe in a past life they did. Julie ended up going to talk to Eddie while they spoke, "sorry you had to see that." He shook his head, "are you okay? What the fuck is wrong with her?" She shrugged, "so much for pretending to be a caring mother." He wanted to hold her then and there but he had to stop himself knowing it'd probably get her in more trouble. Eventually the conversation ended and Julie left with her mom still yelling at her. Wayne told Eddie that some people never change.

-

That weekend she didn't go out, she got grounded, her parents took her phone, but left her laptop so she could do homework. Again she was thankful they had no clue how the internet worked. She ended up messaging him on myspace for the rest of the night on Friday and learning that his band had a gig on Saturday. Julie didn't know it, but the way she had vouched for him had taken on a bigger effect on Eddie than what she could have imagined.

He spent that weekend dedicating the band's sets to her, one of his friends recording the videos for their youtube page while she was locked away in her room. Eddie knew he was fucked, he was falling head over heels for a girl he'd only met last year, but it didn't matter, in his mind, he'd known her a whole fucking life time. Even his friends hyped her up for the way she defended him and didn't leave the scene. His uncle felt bad for her, he said he'd known her mom when she their age and she'd really taken a turn. However, his uncle felt that what Julie had done meant a hell of alot more than what most would have done considering it was Eddie. That was all the reassurance he needed to have to know that she was the one.

At the same time as he was coming to realize this, the band was looking for a way in and while he was sure he could multitask, his focus had always been getting out of Hawkins. Now he had to account for an extra stowaway, which he didn't have a problem with at all.

[eclecticsoftgrungeaestheticzine]

It's amazing how some lessons to learn again

So just before I became homeless I received a call from the high school friends who informed me that a mutual friend of ours was having a hard time because his father had died who had been his best friend,

I hadn't spoken this individual for more than 15 years because he's not mentally well.

But feeling compassion for a circumstance I went to visit

And found that he had suffered a stroke from his alcoholism and drug use

His mother was decided himself

" I'm 82 years old and this is supposed to be my time to live for me but he has a little called bell next to the bed demanding I bring him cereal or juice or whatever it is you want he's going to drive me into an early grave"

Knowing them for as long as I had I was very saddened by the circumstance and decided I might be able to lend a hand doing the things around the house he no longer could

He was always giving to random comments so when he accused me of having an addiction to pornography it kind of made me laugh because what the hell would he know about it I hadn't seen him in almost 15 years and as a point in fact

No one watched more adult content in this guy I mean it was always on

And shortly thereafter he began repeatedly commenting about an interest in sleeping with a 10-year-old girl, which , I felt compelled to just ignore him because it was so outlandish I thought maybe he was just running his mouth like once again he had tended to do but he repeated it multiple times forcing me ultimately to post it on Facebook that his neighbors should be careful with their kids around him

That was 5 years ago

And I am currently embroiled in a controversy of his making on those very same subjects that he had premeditated the accusation of

It was why he mentioned it

Not only has he suggested or supported the belief that I'm addicted to pornography he has also insisted some intimate knowledge of who I am or my particular interest

To insist to a group of his friends that it is I not he who is the pedophile which is breathtaking to me.

And it just occurred to me what should be obvious

Some of you clowns believe it, and it's not because you know me it's because you think you know him.

Well let me tell you something no one knows Fred the dick head like I do

He's the only guy I've ever known at 20 to be dating a 13 year old and found out almost immediately and decided oh well we're already having sex so why should I stop

He's the only one whose parents knew that she was a 13 year old girl and had no problem with him raping her on a daily basis in their home

He's the only person I've ever met who dated a woman for 20 years and then started mentioning an attraction to the daughter she had that he watched grow up into a young lady and had no problem discussing his intent to try to seduce her right Infront of her mother

Or under her nose so to speak

And he's the only grown man I've ever seen respond to the insensitivity of a 5-year-old to his paralyzed condition,

Asking him

Dang you still in that chair man ?

To turn around and aggressively look to bully the child I mean this is a 50-year-old guy picking on a 5-year-old because the child made him mad.

You suckers LOL I've seen him in his role playing mode where he's just the most wonderful kind-hearted friendly loving guy in the world for about 5 and 1/2 minutes I think after that his head will explode if he had to keep it up it's all bullshit all of it

He has tried to insist to me that he acted out of sincerity but, how do you decide someone has a porn addiction when you haven't seen or spoken to them in 15 years

More likely something happened that made him need a scapegoat and he had his friend call me to tell me that his dad died knowing I would come over to see what's up with him because he had planned this all along

You know what

It's not my fault if there are a lot of people out there too stupid to figure out his bullshit but I would encourage you to speak to all three of my kids and their mothers

I may not have been a great partner

But I was a very dedicated father

[wickedw3asleys]

JUST LIKE HEAVEN (Pt.3)

George x female reader (mentions of Fred)

AN: I've had to write this one in a rush so sorry if some of the details are confusing 😔 but i hope you'll like it anyways, and once again, thank you SO SO MUCH for all the positive feedback i'm getting for this serie 🥰

WARNINGS: SMUT SMUT AND MORE SMUT... Cussing and unprotected sex

Fred never let it show once that something had been happening between you two. It wasn't a secret, but after all, it was private business, and surely he would keep teasing you and flirting with you as he had always done, but no one was asking questions. And to your surprise, you never felt uncomfortable with him about what happened in that bathroom a few days ago. And you loved that it was that way, you wouldn't be able to have to deal with losing him as a friend, and you hoped it also would be that way with George. They never seemed to be jealous of the other either, and during a conversation about the topic the day before, they made you very clear that rivalry would never get between them, also making it better. You wouldn't want to be in the middle of these two and be the motive of a fight between twins.

"Y/N, we absolutely love you, you're our best friend and you've always have been. And we've talked about it...", Fred starts.

"We obviously didn't want this to fail and separate us as friends, or Fred and I as brothers..."

"So that should be the last of your concerns..."

"We just think that you're terribly beautiful and nice, and like you trust us for this, we trust you too!"

And for now, it was totally working. The only thing was that you've haven't had the chance to "win" George as you previously won Fred. But you were working on it, slowly but surely. And apparently Fred had been talking to his brother about your private stuff, which only made him grow eager to fuck you too, and it started to show.

"So, Y/N... How are you today?", George asks casually during breakfast.

"I'm... fine...", you answered, clearly seeing that he had an idea on his mind, "What about you, Georgie?"

"Well, not that good, actually...", he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

"And why is that, George?", Fred asks. You could hear the fake in his voice, only making you more curious about what they've had planned.

"I don't know... I feel like... Ugh...", George fake acting was so bad but yet so entertaining it made you laugh, "I feel like need to go to bed..."

"Oh, no! You won't be able to come with me to the Hogsmeade trip!", his brother exclaimed.

"What are you talking about, you wanker? You're completely fine...", Ginny says, putting the back of her hand on George's forehead.

"I said I feel ill!", he exclaimed back.

"If you say so...", she sighs, already done with her brothers' bullshit, making everybody laugh at that.

"Come on, George. It can be that bad!", you say.

"I think you should check on me, though...", he says, directing you a discreet wink.

"Why me? I have a trio to go to...", you smile, "I'm going with Hermione and Luna, right?"

"Huh?", Hermione asks, very confused, looking back and forth between you and Ron, "B-but I was going with Ro- Ouch!", she squeaks as you elbow her, "Oh, yes! Right!"

"Well, what a pity, then... I suppose I'll have to ask someone else to check on me...", George says, leaning on the table towards you.

You exchange a few looks before he finally gets up, "Well, if someone needs me I'll be in my dorm, waiting..."

He winks at you one last time and starts leaving the Great Hall, leaving Fred behind.

"He's such an idiot, he's so bizarre...", Ginny says.

"Hey! Respect, young lady!", Fred scolds her.

"Why does he need to have someone checking on him? Isn't he grown enough?", Ron says, showing an entire sandwich in his mouth.

"Well, sometimes the ones you see as big boys are the biggest babies... Right, Fred?", you say, looking at him up and down.

"As you would know...", he says back.

"What is wrong with you?", Ginny exclaims, throwing her fork on the table, "Y/N! You're becoming like them! Please, tell me you're not going to end up like them! I'm not sacrificing our friendship like that!"

"Wow...", you say, "Don't worry, Ginny. I'm not letting them get into me like that... No worries about it"

"We're totally getting into you, though...", Fred says, earning a slap on the forehead by his little sister, "Alright! Sorry!"

All of you continued breakfast as nothing happened, talking and laughing about random things.

"Well, I think it's time to go now...", says Hermione, looking at her watch.

"Yeah, we should get going before McGonagall leaves without us...", Ron starts standing up.

"Since when are you worried about what McGonagall-", Fred starts asking.

"WELL, since I have a wonderful girlfriend that takes the time to do things properly!", he says, taking Hermione by the waist.

All of you started making your way to the court of the castle, waiting for Harry and Luna to join you there.

"Damn it! I forgot something!", you say, looking in your bag, "Go without me! I'll catch you there!"

"Have fun", Fred whispers to your ear as you pass by him.

"I'll do...", you wink back at him, making him bite his lip.

You start running upstairs to the Gryffindor common room, crossing paths with the last students that were heading outside the castle.

The common room was completely empty now, not even George was there. So you decided to head up to his dorm, see if he actually was there.

"Well, took you long enough...", he says from his bed, looking up from his book.

"Sorry, I was hungry...", you say, making your way towards him, "Anyways, I wanted to check on you before I left", you teased him.

"Oh... So you're actually going...", he says, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Yeah... I can't leave Ginny alone between Ron and Hermione and... Fred...", slowly, you started placing you between his legs.

"I thought Harry and Luna were going too...", he starts grabbing the back of your legs, making you come closer to him, "I think she'll be alright..."

His touch on your legs made your whole body shiver, him noticing it, "Are you cold, darling?"

"A little..."

"Well, come here then...", he took you by the hand and helped you straddle him. He brushed a strand of hair away of your face while you placed your hands on the back of his neck, and without any other words, he gently pressed his lips on yours.

You'd expect him to be as eager as his brother, but he completely took his time with you, slowly kissing you. You felt his tongue pressing on your lower lip, making you open your mouth and following his lead.

He put his arms around your back and started caressing you, slowly and sensually, to what you responded by gently grinding on him.

"Eager, are we?", he asked, still against your mouth.

"Always..."

He put his hand on the back of your head and pushed you towards him, deepening the kiss. As you were too focused on his lips, you didn't even notice his free hand starting to lift your sweater.

You lifted up your arms, interrupting the kiss for a second, and when your sweater touched the floor, you went back to George's soft lips.

You moved back a little on his lap, freeing the spot that was covering his dick, and started to massage it through his pajama pants, surprised by the fact that he wasn't wearing boxers.

You could feel his already hard cock hardening even more at your touch, making you the eager one to taste him. So without warnings, you got on your knees between his legs and helped him take off his pants.

He wasn't as big as his brother, but he surely was a little bit longer, and that sight made it hard for you to imagine to make it fit entirely in your mouth.

You never stopped looking at him in the eye, not even when licking the first straps of his dick, which made he loudly breathe. You took it as a sign to go more on him, so you took a deep breath and directly deepthroating him, fitting your hand around his base.

"Oh, fuck...", he moaned, throwing his head back.

That made you smile with his dick in your mouth and encouraged you to keep going, pushing it a little bit further in your throat. You could feel the discomfort of his tip brushing against the back of your throat, but the sounds that were escaping his lips and the grip he had on your hair made ir all worth it.

You released him for a second, only to go back and bob your head up and down at sensual pace, sometimes leaving licks here and there.

"Fuck, Y/N... You're so good...", he moans.

The fact that he was rather a moaner than a groaner only made your wetness grow. You've always thought a moaning men was hotter.

After a few more movements, you got back up and went back to his lips, allowing him to taste himself too. Without breaking the kiss, he guided you on the bed, where he got on top of you. His hands started roaming all over your stomach, sides and torso, enjoying every single bit of your skin. Enjoying this intimate moment. George liked to take his time, enjoy the moment and make sure you're enjoying it as much as him...

He slowly started to take off your annoying skirt, followed by your panties, only leaving you in your thigh highs socks.

"What's with the socks?", you asked him, crooking an eyebrow.

"Be a good girl and don't ask...", he says, attacking your lips again.

You smile to your insides; you've always knew George had a thing for the high school uniforms... including high thighs socks...

He took away his t-shirt and as you were both naked, he leaned on you a put a single sheet over your bodies.

His hand made its way to your core, where he took the time to take your wetness and spread it all over it with his fingers.

"Look at how wet you already are... All that because of me?", he smirked.

"No, it's because of your lovely daddy", you said, mocking him.

"Ah, ah... Lower you tone with me, sweetheart...", he tsked, and suddenly he introduced two fingers in your pussy, "otherwise it won't end up good for you..."

He started to pump in a out of you as his mouth made it's way back to you neck and jaw, where he never stopped kissing.

"Fuck, George... Yes...", you whispered.

"You like that, darling?", he whispered back in your ear.

"Yesssss...", you slowly started to arch your back and his fingers started to curl inside you.

George took that as a signal to add a third finger. Your face contorted at the discomfort but it soon disappeared, only leaving an extreme pleasure.

He never pulled back from your ear, whispering sweet and nasty things in it while he ferociously pumped in and out of your pussy with his fingers.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!", you moaned loudly.

His hand accelerated its pace, making you hear your own wetness, and you could feel your walls start to tighten around his fingers.

"Are you going to cum, sweetheart? Huh?"

"Yes! FUCK!", once again your back arched and your hand met your clit, quickly rubbing it, but George slapped your fingers, replacing them with his.

"That's my job...", he says, fingers knuckles deep inside you.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! George! FUCK! I'm cumming!", you screamed, bringing your hands to your hair, pulling it roughly.

While he rocked you orgasm with his fingers inside you, he made sure to leave a few new marks on your neck, as to say "George was here".

You regained your breath and when you opened your eyes again, you met the gaze of a lustful George towering over you. You took him by the neck and made him sit down against his headboard, you sitting on his lap. You started kissing him again, passionately and full of hunger. You took his dick in your hand and pumped it a few times before rubbing it against your wet pussy, spreading your wetness all over him, making him groan in your mouth.

Without notice, you got up on your knees and slowly sunk down his shaft, letting you a few seconds to adjust to his length. You looked at his face; lower lip between his teeth, pupils dilated and messy hair all over his forehead, it was the most beautiful image of George you've ever had. Seeing all the lust in his eyes, you decided to not waste more time and started to slowly bounce together on his bed, and moving your pelvis to meet his. Both you and him were a moaning mess, only hearing your voices and your wetness in the room. Lucky you were that no one would be back for a while to his dorm, so you could take all the time you wanted.

George's back was against his headboard, and small moans were escaping his mouth as he embraced you and helped you bouncing and getting back and forth on his dick. Both of you grabbing on each other hard, you bouncing on his cock and him thrusting upwards.

"Fuck, George... You feel so so good... Oh my god...", you moaned, throwing your head back and finding support on his shoulders. Once again, feeling your walls clench around him.

"Turn around, darling...", he commanded you.

You did as he pleaded without asking, pulling him out of your pussy and turning your body around, still sitting on his lap. He slowly raised your body so you were on your knees, your back against his chest. This new position making his cock curve in the perfect spots.

"SHIT!", you moaned.

"Come on, I've got you...", he says, sliding he arm around your stomach, giving you support and enough stability for him to roughly thrust upwards.

"I'm cumming, I'm cumming!!", you quickly managed to moan.

You closed your eyes, focusing on the amazing feeling that was rushing through your body. You expected George to stop his relentless pace, but he didn't, fully overstimulating you, making your orgasm last forever.

"Shit... I can't stop cumming... FUCK!", you difficulty breathed out, making George smirk. "Is that so, darling?", he asked, bringing his hand down to your clit and starting to massage it quickly.

You froze in place while he was attacking you with his fingers and let out a silent scream.

"Oh god... Oh god... FUCK, GEORGE!", you moaned as you felt your walls starting to clench around his dick.

"Are you going to cum again for me?", he smirked.

"Yes! Fuck, yes!", you nearly screamed, feeling something explode inside you and making you see the stars. George started thrusting upwards into your pussy again, helping you chase your orgasm. The overstimulation was so good you couldn't even stop yourself from riding him and taking more of him every time.

"More?", he asked, speaking against your temple, "You want more, sweetheart? You're insaciable, I love it..."

You could even think straight. The intimacy you and him were sharing and the many times you had come by now where making it impossible to even think about what you were doing, you were too focused on how good George was making you feel.

He took advantage of your fucked up state and decided to spice things up a little bit; he took you by the waist and slowly laid you down on the mattress, putting you under him, facing him so he could admire you in your perfect messed up state. He never pulled out of you. He adjusted your hips to be at the perfect angle, and put his arms around your thighs.

"Say you can't stop cumming? Let's see how this feels...", he says before slamming inside you again.

You loudly moaned at the new angle and the feeling of him being balls deep inside you. He was railing the shit out of you in this new position and you could hear his bed slamming against the wall, following his rhythm.

George smirked between his uneven breaths as he felt you clench again around him, knowing how good he was making you feel. He adjusted again his angle, tightening his grip on your thighs and slowing his thrusts, but he never stopping his hard pace, always hitting the correct spots.

You unconsciously took your hand to your clit and started rubbing it hard. You couldn't stop cumming and you didn't want to stop. George was making you feel way too good for that, so you wanted to enjoy every single crumb he would give you of him.

"Yes, like that, sweetheart...", he groaned, "Another one for me..."

His moans and groans were like music in your ears, and hearing him groan louder when he felt your release only made your orgasm a hundred times more powerful for you.

"Come here...", George said, laying back against his headboard again with you on his lap, "You're doing it so good, darling... So good..."

You put your head in the crook of his neck, not having enough strength to even hold your head up. The boy put his hand on the back of your neck, thrusting hard in you.

"Fuuuuuucccckkkkkk...", you let out a long moan.

George embraced you again, this time tighter than before, and you knew he was close.

Your pussy was so sensitive by now that you couldn't even prepare for the new orgasm that washed over your body. George heard you quietly cry of pleasure and that brung him to his end. He swore to himself you were going to be the death of him as he chased his own release. He let out the sweetest moans and you knew he had finished.

He put a gently kiss on your forehead and slowly lifted you off his dick, sitting you again on his lap, feeling his now soft cock under your swollen pussy.

"Are you okay?", he asks, brushing your hair with his fingers.

You hummed, not able to form words yet. He slowly chuckled at that, "Do you need a minute?"

"Yeah...", you answered quietly.

He let you stay still on his lap until you were able to correctly breathe and think again, now not believing how good the sex was.

"Wow...", you chuckled.

"No exaggeration, that was the best sex I've ever had", George says.

You look at him dead in the eye, "Are you and your brother even real?", you ask, completely outraged, "It's not fair!"

George laughed, "What is not fair?"

"THIS! Are you a sort of sex demons or something like that?!", he laughed again.

"Unfortunately no... We just wanted to rail the shit out of you for ages, I suppose."

"Oh, Merlin...", you felt dizzy again, and the thought of them fucking you this hard again only made you more excited for the future. Now was the time when you swore this was the best idea they could ever have had. "I'm so glad you guys asked mento do this, you have no idea..."

You left a quick kiss on George's lips and got up to get dressed, but your legs terribly failed you and almost made you fall ass flat on the floor.

"Oh, wow...", George chuckled, admiring you from his bed.

"You shut up. It's your fault!"

"Yeah, I know...", he winks at you.

You rolled your eyes in fake annoyance and supporting you on his dresser, you could manage to get your skirt on. You made your way to the nearest mirror, watching your body as you adjusted your sweater and your hair. You could see the hickeys Fred had left a few days prior to this encounter with his brother, and next to them almost identical fresh hickeys where now starting to form, making you smile for yourself.

"I have to go, it seems like we've stayed here long enough for Hermione to start asking where I am...", you say, putting on your shoes.

"Okay, I'll see you at lunch, darling."

You flew him a kiss from the door and rushed out of his room, directly going outside the castle; and once again, smiling to yourself at the thought of what you've had done. Hoping this would keep going for a little while...

[all-about-seggs]

A pact in blood-

Rating: 18+, Explicit

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Fem! Reader

Word count: ~3K

Warnings: Semi-incest (Satoru is your cousin/ distant relative), masturbation, Cunnilingus, fingering, hand job, the relationship is a bit messed up, yandereish undertones.

A/n: This takes place when he's still in the academy.* Image source*

“AA-ahhh! Please don’t- don’t stop…”,

Your broken pleas reverberated through the room as Satoru’s deft fingers worked their way in and out of your sopping wet hole. You gripped the sturdy jacket that covered his shoulders, folding the fabric between your fists was the only thing you could do to maintain the last shred of composure you had.

He was like a passing cloud who offered you momentary relief and was on his way as soon as your were done, the fragments of longings that remained on your body etched deeper after every night.

Position after position, he went from your pussy over his lips to eating you out ass up and face down, all for the pleasure you couldn’t seem to get by yourself. You were now splayed out on his lap, face buried in his neck and one arm draped over him for support. Waves of his sweet scent and the euphoria assaulting your senses at the same time, taking you closer and closer to the edge.

It’s been quite some time now but the memory of your first encounter with your unfairly gorgeous cousin Satoru has been etched into your mind as if it happened just yesterday.

You were in the manor of the esteemed Gojo clan for a family event and even though you didn’t shared the same surname you were related nonetheless and were hence invited. It was a four day and three night celebration where the entire place was abuzz with excitement.

It didn’t really mattered to you, being here with a go with a flow kind of attitude, you just minded your own business until spoken to and not mingling with the faceless crowd of people you didn’t even knew the names of.

Thankfully your room was in the separate building which was a little bit further from where all the riotous events centered around. After just half a day of being in the middle of the chaos you wanted to find a way to unwind and that’s when it happened.

Stark naked and two fingers up your little cunt, there was no explaining or bullshitting your way out of this situation when the heir of the household, Satoru Gojo himself walked in in you. Feeble attempts to cover yourself and half hearted stutterings died in your mouth as soon as the young man opened his.

“ Wrong”, the deadpan reply of his made your already shaken up state worsen. Panic flooding in your system begged you to make excuses or atleast request him to not speak of this to anyone, after all families of high status are nothing if not conservative and you didn’t wanted to cause anyone any trouble.

“ I meant, y/n chan, that you’re doing it wrong”, not paying any mind to your internal conflict he continued speaking form where he stood near the door, “ don’t you know how to masturbate? I thought you were in highschool?”

His genuinely perplexed tone made you reconsider your previous opinions about the heir to the clan. Satoru, a guy who walked in on a relative masturbating, was supposed to show courtesy and leave the second he entered but instead he was rating your technique, which in all honesty may have been lacking indeed but you were desperate to cum and he seemed to pick up on that.

“ Since you’re clearly having trouble getting off”, he loosened the obi of his particularly formal kimono and shifted his uncovered ocean blue eyes towards your form, “Want me to teach you?”, his question made you gulp, then gauge your eyeballs out in disbelief. Sure you weren’t closely related and have only spoken once or twice but you attended all the occasions and holiday celebrations at their place and knew that your relationship was only platonic. His offer to cross that line made you flinch back at first.

Heaving a sigh he closed the door and sat cross legged on the tatami mat next to your futon.

“ Relax, t’s not a big deal”, flashing a toothy grin he leaned forward until your noses touched.

“ Afterall, I AM your big brother”

“ wait- you’re also in highschool!”, You retorted, “ I bet you’re a virgin too. So what CAN you teach me anyway?”, overcoming the initial embarrassment, your mouth started moving in its own accord only getting encouraged by his laid back demeanor.

“ Pfttt- so you get defensive when cornered? How cute!”, he giggled, a smile teasing at his lips at your obvious attempt to hide the shame burning in your core.

“Don’t worry, I know my way around a pussy just fine”, light hearted words fell effortlessly from his mouth and you could swear half of your brain was short circuiting because of his crude way of speaking. For all his regal appearance, he was just like any other highschooler, a year older than you but his stature and delicate features gave him a magestic aura that exceeds that of people decades older than him.

Just by the few encounters from the past, you figured he wasn’t one for following traditions or rules if it didn’t suit him. He was way above the rest, in his own distant world everytime you saw him, the school he went to, the things he had experienced were all different.

Forgetting the other's existence after passing each other by with a few formalities exchanged was all you had done with each. You two were never close or even friends but now the chance presented itself to take your non existent relationship to the extreme end through your bodies.

You wanted this.

To feel good. The hormones of youth pumping your impulsiveness you relax your muscles and lie on your back. You could clearly hear Satoru’s playfully indifferent chuckle from above when you slowly part your legs to show him the sides of yourself that even you have never completely seen.

“Just this once, okay?”

He said he was just teaching you how to masturbate but it wasn’t that simple. The only person to get naked was you and the only person who experienced the mind numbing pleasure, was also you. He only needed his deft fingers and mouth to make you feel better and for a while you didn’t even question.

That one lesson of self pleasure which you both were supposed to forget turned into an entire session as day after day Satoru would show up at your parents house unbeknownst to a soul and you both crossed the same lines of platonic relationship everyday.

The euphoria was endless but with a single rule that you weren’t allowed to touch him in turn and it goes without saying that the two of you never went all the way. It would always start with small talks about the day, even when you’d be talking, all your focus was on what was to come next.

That’s why after a few weeks of the detached pleasure he provided you, it got you thinking what he actually wanted from you. Satoru had already seen, touched and tasted all your body had to offer, never revealing any of his own.

You wondered if he ever felt sexually frustrated by always giving and never asking for anything in return. You knew he was not THAT nice. At least that’s what you believed considering his sadistic streak in bed. He did seem to be enjoying himself when he's messing you up so maybe he didn’t have many sexual urges that he needed to satisfy and was just acting on curiosity or maybe he had someone else, someone older with more experience who he didn’t constantly had a upper hand with and was able to see them as an equal. This thought alone made your chest tight, with an unnatural pain that threatened to break your heart.

You had to catch your darkening train of thought before it reached to the conclusion you were most afraid of. Knowing full well that this was just a fleeting moment that is only supposed to be enjoyed through a lens of carefree thinking, you push the budding feelings of the some very complicated emotions out of your system. The surge of jealousy you felt may have born out of falling in love with a family member but it was wrong on so many levels.

A love that starts with lust never ends well for anyone but as you were laying in his arms, the control over your body handed completely to him, your mind wondered how things would feel vice versa.

“ You seem distracted y/n”, Satoru looked at you, with his glasses off the beautiful azure eyes hidden beneath a delicate layer of white eyelashes filled your vison.

“ I’m obviously not doing it right if you have time to get lost in your thoughts”, putting you down on your bed, he started to move away and for a minute you got your hopes up, thinking your chance to finally have him completely and you cursed yourself for wanting at the same time. But no amount of berating would scrub off the insatiable thirst you had, for its roots had already made their way to your heart.

“Please let me help you too”, these few words took a lot of guts, letting go of all the inhibitions and threads of morality you fix Satoru with an unwavering gaze.

“ That’s okay babygirl, I’M the one who does the teaching here afterall”, you saw what he was trying to do, his airy yet gentle tone didn’t left much room for argument but the gray zone of your relationship was blurring to the point of confusion urged you to give into your clamoring emotions.

Without a second thought you jumped on him with all your might, closing the distance he put within seconds to cover his mouth with yours. You knew how much you weighed but despite your aggressive actions his sturdy form didn’t even deter form his position while catching you. You twirled your tongue over the roof of his mouth, the taste of your juices still lingering in there.

Hoping to have proven your resolve that wasn’t going to settle for getting brushed aside you break the kiss and look expectantly at him. An invisible bond between the two of you taking shape, strengthening the magnetism that attracted you to him.

“ That eager for my cock are you?”, Taking your face in one of his huge hand he makes you look straight at him, “You really want more? More than I'm already giving you?”, just one more push. You thought, with just a bit of coaxing, you were sure Satoru's wishy washy rules would crumble to make way for your upcoming actions.

“ I do. I know exactly what I want but”, steeling your nerves you face him, eye to eye, “ What do YOU want?”. The question was simple but the conflict swirling within Satoru’s eyes was evident and for the first time you realised that maybe this wasn’t just a case of casual hookup for him as well.

“ I want all your firsts. That’s all.” After a short stretch of silence he spoke, ironically the borderline obsessiveness of his glib response, like magic, cleared away the fog was previously clouding your mind. The nonchalance of his smirk should've been the red flag that made you rethink your life choices but the heat of the moment only seemed to ignite your lust.

Not uttering a single word, you quickly work on shedding him off his cloths, he doesn’t make any attempts at stopping you this time around, this knowledge pulling a smile out of you. By the time you reached for his boxers your hands were shaking.

Whether from excitement or nervousness you couldn’t tell but looking down through the veil of his heavy eyelashes, Satoru’s passion was evident.

Eyeing up his exposed body you still for a moment to take it all in. You ran you hands through his sculpted chest and down to his abdomen, your nails scratching the surface of his defined muscles. All of his masculinity contrasted with his oddly sweet scent and velvety pink lips that never failed to lure you in for deep soft kisses.

There’s no doubt girls must be always fawning over him and his perfectly smooth skin was something that even made you jealous. You were so captivated by his looks that you had to shake yourself free from your lovesick stupor .

You feel him up a little, hands running across his toned chest, you drag your nails through the rise and dips of his abdomen down to the contours of his defined V- line before turning your attention to his hardening member. Your breath quickens as your trembling fingers hook beneath his waistband.

Taking out his pulsating member you run your eyes up and down his entire length. He was big, to say at the very least. Bigger than you'd expected and more than you thought you could handle but backing out now would be straight up hypocrisy when your drooling mouth said otherwise.

With your ass right next to his chest, you start licking and sucking his tip with fervour, not wanting to waste even a single drop of his cum that you wanted so bad. You heard him moan lightly behind you, his voice only fuelled the fire that was burning your core. Having never given a blow job to anyone before you struggled in keeping a steady pace and his girthy cock didn’t make it any easier on you.

In just a few minutes you jaw ached and your entire face hurted but Satoru showed no signs of cumming.

In your own world again, you racked up your brain to figure out how to please him when suddenly you felt a hand climbing up your thigh. With the other hand he gripped your hips and pulled your lower half until you were straddling his mouth.

“ It’s a lot better like this don’t you think?”, as he spoke you felt his breath caressing your nether lips and you shivered in delight at the new position.

He snaked his hands in between your thighs and spread open your slit, glistening with your dripping arousal using his thumbs. Every single fold of yours now in display Satoru licked his plush lips before leaving open mouthed kisses on the exposed skin. His lips pulling out a series of appreciative hums as you desperately try to focus on your own actions.

Taking his hard length half in your mouth and half in one of your hand you tried to match the skilful movements of Satoru’s tongue that relentlessly lapped at your clit. After a few minutes of trying and failing to suck him up properly your senses got completely clouded by the heavy onslaught of that familiar release you had gotten used to.

You wanted to ask him to stop so you catch up to him but he the vigor in his actions and your own overwhelming surge of desires made you decide against it, the broken stings of his name died down with you still half choking on his length.

The only thing your lust laden mind could decipher except for pleasure was shame. To you, it was shameful how, being the one who asked to touch him, you were the one tethering near the edge. Before long your convulsing pussy was dripping with your juices, trickling down from his face that was still buried nose deep in your crotch.

Messing you up always filled Satoru with a kind of affection that he didn’t thought he was capable of.

Your cute whines getting muffled by his cock that you could only take half way past your llip sent waves of ecstasy down his spine. The cum that kept on flowing from your aching hole that he was the first to taste and the last as well took him to a high that no amount of pleasure could.

He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be the provider of your everything who had complete control over you or if he just wanted to spend hours into the night, praising every fibre of your being that was so eager to make him feel good. This duality of his thoughts confused him further and in that moment he knew he had to see this to the end.

Your heavy pants was the only thing that could be heard in the otherwise silent room, guilt and pleasure leaving you tongue tied. You move yourself from above him, your quivering body falling like a sac just beside his own.

“ I’m sorry! I couldn’t make you-“, before you could finish your breathy apology he brought up a finger near your frowning lips to quite you down.

“Its okay sugar, it was your first time. Not a big deal.”, the soft notes of his voice took the edge off of the disappointment you felt, “I told you. I’ll teach you everything.”

Those eyes. Two shining orbs of brilliant blue gazed at you in the same way you found yourself staring at him. Watching over you like it was their birthright and oddly enough, the scrutiny made you feel completly at home just like the warmth of his long arms that wrapped themselves around you.

" Realx Y/n, I'll be very thourough with my teaching, afterall,", your heart thumped loudly in your chest in response to his smooth voice, "I don't do things halfway.

The pleasent fatigue that had taken a hold of your body slowly dissipated but the growing haziness of your mind got you wondering if you were falling in deepness of his ocean blue eyes but as soon realization hit you, you were already halfway through blacking out.

That you’d never be forgiven for wanting.

From that moment on, you knew.

Part 2? Idk you tell me(╯︵╰,)

[justwonder113]

Midnight adventures

Matsukawa Issei x f.reader

WARNING: Angst to fluff, Slowburn, friends to lovers, mutual pining, kinda long and decent amount of cursing cuz I have no shame. Both reader and Matsun are kind of dumb.

word count 6.5k

You loved him, you really did, even though he sometimes drove you out of your mind and made you want to bash his head against the wall. And he knew that. He knew what kind of effect he had on you and he was amused by it.  He knew just to push the right buttons, he knew how to rile you up.

You were like an open book to him, so of course he knew you had a crush on him from the start, and you knew that he was aware of your feelings. At first, you were reluctant and refused to admit having the slightest feelings for him, but after some time you accepted the fact and realized that at some point you made your feelings seem obvious. Well, he was your first actual crush, and you were inexperienced.

Your friends would also tease you a lot and at some point, they locked you two together so you could finally confess. It was after their match against shiratorizawa in the third year. That was the day you had your first kiss with him, honestly, you didn't know what happened that night, one moment you were arguing with him because he wanted to leave the team, you were basically yelling how amazing player and teammate he was and the next second you were kissing each other. You expected that after he would confess to you, but he never did. He acted with you like the kiss never happened and that really broke you.

Maybe that is why after all these years you decided to move away, both literally and emotionally. You spent all your high school years waiting for him, waiting for him to make a move, but before you knew it you graduated. You finished school not even holding hands with another boy because you thought he felt the same, you thought that maybe you could be together? But now you realized that it was all load of bullshit. Why did you have to go so far for a person who didn't care about you that much? Why did you have to hold back when he never said no to all the attention he got from girls? You knew that they meant nothing to him and that he only saw them as one-time flings but it still really hurt you. Did you even mean something to him?

You felt mad at yourself, you wasted all these years swooning over someone who didn't return your feelings. But the thing that angered you the most was that you still weren't over him. Your heart would still flutter like crazy whenever you saw him and as much as you hated it he looked better and better every time.  You also hated the fact that you couldn't blame him for all this pain, you couldn't tell that you were heartbroken because he didn't love you, that wasn't much of a reason. You were the silly one here. Why were you even surprised? He knew you for years as friends. He probably only saw you as a friend and considered the kiss as a mistake.

To be honest, he never did anything wrong, he always treated you warmly, and with respect, he liked to piss you off but he never really crossed the line, you couldn't blame him for not loving you. You guys kissed like one time, he probably regretted it and didn't want to hurt your feelings that's why he never brought it up after that. He gave you space. He didn't tell you in your face that he didn't return your feelings, he never broke your heart, you were just the silly one, clinging tightly to that miserable string of hope. You were the weak one for falling for him. It would have been better if he screwed up, if he told you that he could never look at you romantically, maybe it would make you feel a little better, your heart would break but you would get over it? But no destiny said that he had to be perfect.

When you moved away to University you promised yourself that you would start everything from the fresh page, you would work on yourself and no longer be that helpless girl who couldn't even get over her crush. You spent months working on your self-confidence and other issues, you spent countless time getting yourself into shape. Let's say you worked on yourself pretty hard. And it paid off, you had finished university and were about to start your dream job, you had gotten an offer many would dream of, you did everything you wanted, you even got in a few relationships, you should have been satisfied right? Then why didn't feel so? Why was there a feeling of emptiness inside your soul and why was no one able to fill it? It made you furious, after all these years, how could you not move on? Why did you Think about Matsukawa when you kissed other men? Why did you keep comparing everyone to him? What did he even do to deserve a permanent place in your heart? Your heart still kept beating like crazy and it's been what? years? you were in your twenties already, you needed to move on!

You were back in the city to celebrate your friends' victory over his rivals. Oikawa being the flashy person he is decided to throw the biggest party possible and now here you were. You knew you would meet him here, he was his friend as much as you after all, but you didn't expect it to hurt this much. As you said time really had done its job on him, he looked more mature now, he was slightly taller and definitely more muscular, he decided to grow his hair too, you always knew that he would look amazing with slightly longer hair, he had also gotten a few tattoos that were seen through his rolled-up black shirt. Man, did it suit him, the shirt was a bit tight fit and it really complimented his muscular form. The tattoos looked amazing on him and were these rings he was wearing? And piercings! And he had his nails painted black, Really life? He looked like your dream man, thank you very much for nothing!

You knew you would run into him today and you tried to look your best, you knew it was silly but you felt like showing off, but after seeing him you felt kind of self-conscious. You wondered if your dress was a good choice, you chose it as it hugged your curves perfectly and really complimented them but now you were wondering if it was too much. Was your hair alright? You hoped it didn't get frizzy. Oh god, why was everyone staring at you? Your lipstick didn't smudge, right? Even though you were having a war inside your head it simply washed away in an instant as you saw the face of your best friend who was grinning like crazy. You quickly headed to her and engulfed them in a tight hug. God, you missed themso much! You felt lucky just by having them in your life, and they really helped you get through with your issues,they were with you every step of the way and you couldn't be more thankful. If it wasn't for them and your friends you doubted you would be standing here right now. Even though you still felt self-conscious sometimes like now overall you were a pretty confident person who radiated power. Even when you felt weak you managed to look powerful. Maybe this was your resting bitch face? You didn't know. You felt thankful that he didn't notice you he was too busy talking with some woman, typical.

"I missed you so much! Can't believe I'm seeing you after all this time. I really missed you all. And meeting on an occasion like this we just have to celebrate our reunion, I knew Oikawa would beat their asses someday," you grinned proudly. "Okay, I'm getting carried away, I really missed you tho. We have to catch on, let's ditch your them later and have some fun!" You ranted as you occasionally squeezed your best friend who kept chuckling.

"Now now Y/N-chan, you just came back don't go stealing my friends from me!" Oikawa came out of nowhere and snatched your best friend away from you, you pouted but chuckled in the end.

"Can't make promises Flattykawa. And in my defense, I knew them longer." You teased and made a face at him, Oikawa fake gasped and clutched his heart a smile never leaving his face. You missed this idiot and his dramatic shenanigans so bad.

"Again with a nickname! Y/F/N-chan she's being mean!" Your friend only chuckled at Oikawa's childlike behavior and patted his hand.

"She has a point tho." Your friend teased along.

"Betrayed by you too! What else should I expect today?" He whined, you only chuckled and opened your arms.

"I really missed you, you dork! I'm really proud of you," you said sweetly, Oikawa immediately hugged you, you smiled at the familiar warmth, Oikawa has been like an annoying brother to you, you weren't used to not hearing his constant whining and antics even after all these years living apart from them.

"I really missed you too! Nothing's the same without you!" You smiled at Oikawa's warm comment. You were glad they missed you the same way you missed them. You really tried to visit as frequently as you could but it was hard when all of you were covered in work. Out of all third years, Hanamaki and Matsukawa stayed in Japan, you and others left the country for Universities. You felt really emotional, it had been such a long time without them...

"Look at her, hugging Oikawa and Y/f/n-chan first, don't mind me I'm just gonna stand here until you decide to acknowledge me. I thought we had something special Y/n, you're breaking my heart here." You heard a deep voice behind you, you smiled and turned back smirking.

"I would say she has her priorities set right? I mean it's me you are talking about,"Oikawa boasted, Your friend giggled.

"Missed you too Hiro," you grinned as you playfully hit his shoulder then hugged him. It was good to be home.

"Where's my grizzly bear?"  You asked as you searched the crowd for the angry spiky head.

"He's at the bar probably, Oikawa managed to talk his ears out already, he left a minute ago saying "I'm not drunk enough for this shit!" I'm sure he will be happy to see you." Makki smiled and wrapped his hand around your shoulder you smiled and leaned in on his touch. You had missed this so much!

You spent most of the evening chatting with people and having a nice time. Oikawa for sure knew how to throw a party, you even danced with some charming men. You felt uneasy tho, you and Matsukawa made eye contact a few times but none of you even moved to say something, you just smiled at each other awkwardly. Over the night you noticed how many girls approached him, well it wasn't surprising, he was a good looking young man, but you couldn't help but feel a tinge of annoyance on the inside. In the end, you tried your best to be your charming self. You talked to many different men and even danced with more of them, moving your hips passionately along the music. But you felt bored in the end. None of them were interesting, they didn't have a fire you wanted. How long were you going to be like this? Wasn't there someone who could I don't know sweep you off your feet?

Suddenly you felt overwhelmed, the alcohol was starting to kick in and you swayed your hips with a bit more passion, your best friend was next to you, Oikawa had left you two alone to have your time.

"You haven't talked to him right?" As always, Your friend guessed what was bothering you in a second.

"No, and I'm not planning on doing so. If he didn't think I were at least a little bit important than the girls he was talking to then I'm not going to interfere. I have self-respect. He didn't even bother to say hi." You rolled your eyes and chugged another shot, the alcohol mildly burned your throat but you were used to the feeling. You just felt like dancing and maybe even washing your worries away. You wanted to have fun, and you had a reason too, your friend won a gold medal and defeated his rivals! You decided to go and do another shot, getting near the bar, you noticed a familiar spiky head, you smiled and got closer finally sitting next to the buff man.

"Is this seat taken handsome?" You asked seductively, Iwaizumi's shoulders tensed for a second but he relaxed as soon as he saw your grinning face.

"Y/N!" He greeted you with a smile and got up, you were quick to wrap your hand around him.

"Good to see you, daddy." You grinned teasingly, Iwaizumi flushed immediately. You had a habit of teasing him, you often called him daddy because of his aggressive yes, but caring demeanor, and you really enjoyed it when he got flustered. Truth be told you were probably the only person who got away with teasing him without getting punched or kicked.

"God, when will you stop with the dumb nickname? People are going to get a very wrong idea, it's embarrassing," he grumbled and pointed to the bartender by his eyes, who was looking at you from time to time sneakily, he heard you and was shocked, you smirked and gave him a wink, making the boy blush harder. You smiled, as you eyed the boy he was definitely cute.

"I will stop when you won't have an adorable reaction like this," you teased, Iwaizumi only scoffed, but he didn't look mad.

"It's awfully early for you to start drinking, did Oikawa really talk your ears out?" You chuckled, Iwaizumi scoffed again but he looked amused.

"Unfortunately for me yes, I swear to God he never stops talking." You chuckled, it was such an Oikawa thing to do.

"Yeah, I'm glad Oikawa won, I'm sorry for your team but he did work really hard for it and really deserved it." You smiled fondly after noticing Oikawa dancing with your best friend over some cheezy song which probably he had chosen.

"Yeah, I'm glad too. You should have seen him tho, the all smug Oikawa crying nonstop like a baby after he realized he had won, well of course after they left the court, he was like Iwa-chan I did it!" Iwaizumi mimicked Oikawa's crying voice, you giggled. It sounded like Oikawa, "Don't laugh, who do you think had to stop him from crying? "Iwaizumi shuddered as you had a hard time holding your laughter. You had such a good time, you didn't even notice a pair of dark brown eyes observing your giggling form.

"Now all I can see is Oikawa clinging to you like a koala and crying his eyes out."  Iwaizumi only looked at you with an unamused face, making you raise your hands in defeat, the deadly aura didn't go unnoticed by you. Iwaizumi rarely lost his cool around you, but it didn't mean you were immune to his rage. "I'm only kidding, Iwa baby, please don't get mad at me." You lightly pouted as you made puppy dog eyes at him, he only sighed and took another sip from his drink, you smiled and ordered a drink, you visibly relaxed, you didn't feel on edge anymore.

You talked for a while, but unfortunately for you, Iwaizumi had to leave, apparently drunk Oikawa was somewhere causing some trouble. You found it suspicious that was too much even for Oikawa but you didn't question it. Iwaiizumi only grumbled in annoyance and left, being used to all this stuff. You, on the other hand, Made small talk with the cute bartender, he was really good looking and surprisingly very charming and smooth. You were quite drunk already and you were feeling needy, so now here you were making out with him in some empty hallway. He was a good kisser, but you still didn't feel any spark. You wanted to feel the same tingling sensation as the one you felt when you had your first kiss with Issei. The situation was not at all romantic as you said, Oikawa and others locked you in the lockers, to make up after you had a little fight. You bickered at each other for a while, well it was you who was really arguing, you were really mad at him because he was bringing himself down and planned on leaving the team, and you were trying to get to his scull how amazing he actually was and soon your lips were against each other and it felt like the most magical feeling in the whole world. You had never felt anything like that when you kissed others and today was no exception, unfortunately for you. You tried to take the lead in the kiss maybe to make it feel more enjoyable for you but before you could even try, a hand made the man separate from you. You opened your eyes to see Issei, who didn't have a very pleased expression.

"I have business with Y/N, so I don't know, get lost?" Issei said without any emotion. You looked at him dumbfounded. He didn't even bother saying hi earlier, what business would he have with you? The boy, Souma was it? Looked at you two before speaking.

"Dude what the hell we were busy!" He groaned as he glared at Issei, who didn't seem really fazed.

"Do I really look like I care?" Matsukawa asked plainly, You took the chance to straighten up.

"Listen here you little..." Souma stopped before he would go on, as he felt chills run down his spine under Matsukawa's cold glare. You sighed and straightened up.

"I guess it's pretty important, I will contact you later ok?" You asked sweetly, but you both knew you weren't going to contact him. You didn't even have his number and you hadn't given him yours. Souma grumbled and left leaving you with Issei.

As soon as he left you were quick to smack Issei's arm. "Dude, what the fuck?" He only looked at you, grabbed your arm, and led you through the hallway. "What's with the cockblocking? He didn't seem too bad."

"I didn't like him." He said like it was the most obvious thing. It made you feel mad.

"Oh sorry, next time I will choose someone you might like, for future references what type of boys are you into?" You snarled lightly. You wanted to break free from his grasp but it was too strong. Soon your back made contact with the cold wall, and you were caged between Issei's strong arms. You tried to protest but before you could even say a word his lips were on you. You didn't know how to act, your whole body went stiff but after a second you felt your body relaxing.

"God, you're beautiful." He said as he kissed you again, his big hands snaking around your waist. You were speechless, you didn't really realize what was going on. But your body felt like it was on fire. His lips kept brushing against yours just perfectly, your skin was burning hot under his touch. Your heart was beating like crazy, you only managed to whimper against him and he took this as a chance to deepen the kiss. You tried to keep up but it was physically impossible. His kiss was deep and passionate, kind of possessive too. You could feel all his lust through it. You moaned lightly, unable to control yourself. You put your hands on his chest, you could even feel his strong yet fast heartbeat, you pushed lightly, Issei took the hint and leaned back. He stared at you, admiring your beautiful form, you looked so pretty all flustered and breathless, he had wanted to do this for such a long time, for the whole night you had basically been teasing him and his patience was running thin.

"What came over you. I..." You didn't know what to say, you were so confused.

"Do you remember our random sneak outs in highschool?" How could you forget, you just lived for the tiny adventures you, Makki and he used to have at three am. Sometimes when Hiro didn't feel like coming, you would go with him instead. Eating ice cream or random junk food at three am on your special spot, you lived for it. Sometimes you didn't even talk for a whole night but still felt so comfortable. Your chest tightened again at the memory. But why bring it up now? This didn't explain all the raging questions you had.

You nodded your head quietly, looking at him through glossy eyes. "I do. Why?" Your voice was so weak it made you cringe. You didn't know, what was this about? Why bring it up now.

"Would you go on an adventure with me? I know it's Oikawa's special day, but Y/N I... We both know that we need to talk." You looked up at him with wide eyes, you had never seen him like this, he looked so serious and desperate too? Despite feeling all furious and all you nodded and let him lead you through the crowd and to his car.

"I will text him, he might get worried. But what should I say? Where are we even going? We're in Tokyo, don't tell me we're going to Miyagi!" You asked as you sat down in his car, you were confused, all this stuff was confusing you.

"No, I don't plan to take you to Miyagi, I was thinking of ordering a shit ton of junk food via drive-in and then taking you to the place I found earlier. Don't worry I'm sure you will like it." Issei assured you as he got in his car, started the engine, and started driving.

"Are you really trying to get on my good side via food? I'm really mad it's not going to be that easy." You furrowed your eyebrows, Issei huffed a laugh.

"Maybe I am? We both know that you will sell your soul to satan for a bag of doritos! If I keep your mouth busy while I tell you something at least I won't have to worry about you biting my head off," Issei pointed out like it was the most obvious argument while smirking proudly, you scoffed.

"I will hit you so hard after you stop the car, I'm not doing it now because I value my life. And besides, it's not about whether or not I will like the place. It can be next to a strip bar or some abandoned place, what's important is that you will say and you know that." You said as a matter of fact and turned away from him, looking through the window.

"I know." He sighed after a second, the atmosphere was heavy, opposite of what you were used to. You started liking Mattsun because things were easy with him and that it was full adventures, but now... You had to calculate everything you said, how you moved, how you looked at him, and stuff. When did it become so painful to be in the same space as him? And the stuff he wanted to tell you terrified you. What if he admitted that he never saw you seriously? That he only felt desire for you at some doing and nothing else. You didn't even know what made him act up today, did he have at least the slightest feelings for you or did he just found desirable in that tight dress? Maybe he just didn't like the face another man tried to take you away. Either way, anxiety was eating you from the inside. Your heart kept beating rapidly and your fingers actually hurt from playing too hard with them.

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't even notice how he ordered and got the food. You only came back to reality only when he opened your door gently took your hand in his big one. "We're here." He helped you get out of it. The cold air immediately hit you, making you shiver slightly. "Here take this." He said as he put his jacket on your shoulders, it was so big you were basically swimming in it but on the contrary, it was really warm and soft and it smelled like him! Just perfect, you immediately snuggled in. Mattsun then took the food package from the backseat. He quickly locked the car and led you through again. You were now in front of a big clearly abandoned building, you hesitated for a second and tightened your grip around his hand, Issei looked at you, carefully examining your face."Are you feeling scared? I promise it's a safe place, I have been here. You still like exploring weird buildings like this right?" He teased lightly, squeezing back your hand. You only pouted.

"I do like exploring buildings like this, but when I said abandoned building I was joking you know that right? I like these kinds of places but not in dresses like this and especially not in high heels. I like being prepared to run from my life if there's a huge creep or some sort of monster, I don't know! And I haven't done something like that for such a long time, and we're not in Miyagi too, everything's new here!" You said as a matter of fact while playing with your hair, Issei only chuckled. You felt nervous. Before you could even comprehend what was happening Issei had already picked you over his shoulder. You felt like a sack of potatoes.

"Oh my god, Matsun what are you doing? Put me down!" You tried squirming away at the same time you clutched his shirt too afraid to fall. He started laughing, you felt vibrations through his back, you couldn't help but smile, you liked when he laughed.

"No way, I like carrying you and I have the best view too so no way princess."You could tell he was grinning while looking at your ass and it made you mumble in annoyance. You gasped when he spanked your bottom lightly, you smacked his back in response. "Do you like the view?"

"Shut up!" You whined, which made him chuckle harder. "Put me down, my dress is short!" You started wiggling again, but he had a death grip on you. You could feel the blood rushing to your face and at this point, you were not sure if it was from embarrassment, just having your head low and blood rushing to your head or just anger.

After a minute of him walking and you admiring his ass, he finally put you down. You looked around, the building was empty, there was no furniture and some of the walls were covered in graffiti. Other than that you enjoyed the place, it had a certain vibe to it. You wandered for a second, exploring the room. When you turned around you didn't see him, you walked around and eventually came out on the huge veranda. The sight made you gasp, Issei had laid the blankets on the floor and taken out the food, it looked so cozy! There were some pillows too. It was just like a little picnic, the dim streetlights also shone nicely with some fairy lights there and there and the sight in front of you of the night city was magnificent. Everything looked so simple yet so perfect.

"Okay, stop or I might have to actually marry you." You pointed at everything dramatically, you couldn't contain your smile. Everything looked like the pics you have seen on social media or in the movies. Issei smiled at you softly, you looked so cute all excited like that. His jacket really suited you too, you looked so perfect.

"I knew you would like this. I'm glad you actually agreed to come." He smiled and patted space next to him, you sighed and sat carefully, holding down your dress, it was short at it was you didn't want it to slide up too much.

"You knew I wouldn't refuse such tempting request, didn't you? I always liked our little adventures," you smiled fondly, recalling sweet high school memories.

You spent few minutes in silence watching the city, eating there and there, but it wasn't uncomfortable like before, your anxiety had calmed down a little too. You just sat there and enjoyed the moment. You didn't even notice when he took your hand but you didn't bother to take it back. You wished you could stay like this forever but you also knew it was wrong. You had to ask the question, even if hearing it could destroy you. You both knew that.

"Matsu, why did you kiss me earlier? I'm trying to understand what's going on between us but now I'm especially confused. Why did you do it? I thought you didn't like me," You were talking quietly, but in reality, it was really hard for you to contain your sea of emotions. Issei tightened his grip on your delicate fingers, neither of you bothered to look at each other in the eyes. He took a deep breath and started talking quietly.

"I don't know myself. I thought I had let go of you, I thought I was over you, but when I saw you again all feelings came crashing down on me again. You looked so breathtaking, I fell in love with you all over again. So pretty and all dolled up and this dress. God this dress, hugs you so perfectly on all the places I want to touch, I actually feel jealous of it. I want to rip it off and have you all to myself and never let go. I don't want to let go now that I tasted your lips again." He spoke lowly, his voice was raspy and it sent chills down your spine. " You are the most beautiful person here you know that right? You are probably the most beautiful person in the whole city, I think even in whole Japan or better the world!" Matsun kept going on and on setting your heart ablaze. You were mad, but at the same time, you were so at ease and felt so at comfort. It was like your mind and heart were battling each other and you had no idea which would win.

"I'm still really mad at you." You grumbled against his chest, Issei hummed and wrapped his hands tighter around your waist.

"I know and you have every right to." Issei hummed and pecked your hair, he then grabbed your chin lightly and made you look at him. "I'm really sorry Y/N, all I have been doing is to cause you pain. It was never my intention. I love you, god, I love you so much! I know you will be better without me. You can find so many who are way better than I am and would treat you like you really deserve. And I thought I came around with the fact that I wouldn't be the one to have you in the end. I always knew that. That's why I never made any kind of move on you. When you entered the party you looked like a different person. You were the most beautiful person I have ever met, you looked so confident and comfortable in your own skin and most of all you looked so happy! I didn't want to come to you and ruin it. I felt so proud too, you achieved so many things! God, you don't know how proud I am to even know you!" Matsun kept going on and on, you haven't even heard him talk this much in a row, he was always a man of few words. He looked so desperate too, and the way his voice broke, killed you too. You had known him for years but you still never had seen him like this. Honestly, You had no idea what to do. You wanted to yell at him and comfort him at the same time. You tightened your grip around his hand, your knuckles were starting to whiten but you didn't care. You wanted for him to know you were listening, that you were there.

"Matsun, I..." You tried to start but he interrupted you.

"Please let me finish." The tone of his broken voice immediately made you shut up. "I know it was my own choice to let you go, and I really thought I was fine with that but when I saw you... When I saw you something like snapped in me. I tried to take my mind away, I kept talking to this women to keep my mind off of you, but how can I pay any attention to these peasants when a literal goddess has taken over my heart? And when I saw you kissing that asshole I almost went feral! I would have murdered him if I had a chance. He was touching the one I basically find sacred so disrespectfully, I almost lost my mind. Then I got you to myself I couldn't help but kiss you. Your lips always look so welcoming I couldn't help myself. And I want to do it again and again. I don't ever want to let go. I miss you like crazy! I don't know if I can be apart from you again. I... God, I sound so pathetic, I don't even understand what's happening with me. I covered this place with blankets and stuff you love because I hoped you would come to another adventure with me. Funny thing is that I wasn't even planning on asking, I don't know how we ended up here. I thought I would end up coming here all alone, wallowing myself in self-pity again. I know I don't deserve it, and I know that everything's my fault and my fault only and I would understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me, but could you give me another chance? I don't think I can last any more minute without you. I miss you so much it actually hurts."

Matsukawa looked at you with pleading eyes, and before you could even comprehend what was happening, you were getting in his lap and were kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He was startled for a second, he clearly didn't expect you to have a reaction like this but he wasn't against it at all. In fact, in a second, he was the one taking the lead and deepening the kiss. His hands digging in your hair while you slid yours through his hair. He would have continued doing so before you leaned back and broke the kiss. He looked at you half dazed. You were quick to bring him back to his senses when you harshly smacked his head.

"That hurts!" He complained, which made you more fueled up and now you punched his shoulder.

"That's the point of hitting! I want it to hurt you asshole!" You yelled. "You know you're a huge fucking idiot right? What's with this bullshit about not being worthy to be next to me? If I didn't think your ass was worthy I wouldn't have fallen in love with you! My taste in men may not be that great but I'm not stupid! I appreciate that you're thinking about my happiness or whatever, even though it's totally uncalled for, and thank me for not beating your ass further! But I get to decide what's good for me and what's not. To your surprise genius, that comes to dating too! I get to decide whom I want to date and fall in love with and in this case, it happens to be you, fuck it always has been you! I had some partners but I didn't love any of them, cause your caterpillar brow ass has managed and captured my heart, I always come to compare them to you, and guess what they're not you! God, you can be so stupid for someone who is supposed to be smart! I'm really disappointed Matsun and mad too! I want to beat your ass even further! God, how did you even manage to come up with this bullshit? I swear to god!" You kept grumbling while messing with Issei who looked like he was still in shock, his cheeks were dusted pink and you couldn't help but squeal on the inside from how cute you found it. You made Issei blush! That was an achievement for sure and such an adorable one too! But you couldn't back down now, you felt actually mad that he had such dumb thoughts like this, but on the other hand, you found it very endearing and cute. He was trying to protect you! And by the looks of it, he was hurting just as much as you. But the fact remained the same, he loved you. Your dream came true, he shared the same feelings! You felt so happy, you wanted to kiss his face till your lips fell off.

"You know you don't have to straight ass roast me right?" Issei tried to look offended but he was having a hard time hiding his grin, you smiled and pinched his cheek making him roll his eyes.

"Oh baby, I'm not even started. What did you think I was going to forget everything? And don't be mislead Makki can't even come close to me when it comes to teasing. You're in for a ride sweetheart, teasing is only just begging, maybe if you find a few ways to shut me up, and you know what I mean, I could keep quiet for a while, you could atone for your stupid ass mistakes with many kisses for starters. I don't know Matsu get creative. The point is you're stuck with me and you can't even run from me now you got it? No more bullshit like I don't deserve you and stuff like that," You said as slowly and as seductively as you could having your face close to his and occasionally brushing your lips against his. Still being in his lap gave you the perfect leverage and you just loved the way he was tightly holding your hips, to keep your bodies close. You felt complete after such a long time...

The hurt and all the emotions didn't wash away immediately obviously, you knew that your wounds would take time to heal, but now at least you knew Issei would be next to you through the journey and that was enough. You knew that now, that you had talked things through, maybe yelled from your side but still, you knew that you could overcome many things together. You just needed to voice your thoughts out.

"Wasn't even planning on it baby," he growled while he closed the distance between your lips again making you squeal a little. Yup, you just loved your little midnight adventures.

God, I can't believe I actually wrote over 6500+words. No wonder my eyes hurt like a bitch lol. Anyway, I really hope you will like it. If you have any kind of feedback please notify me. I'll gladly take some healthy criticism. I really want to improve my writing and I promise I will do my best. This is a firts work I have ever published on tumblr and I really hope you will like it^^

[pure-kirarin]

Slow & Steady [P3] [Sabo x f!reader] (+18)

A/N : Hi !! sorry for publishing this later than I expected, but I got a beta reader and we worked on this chapter for longer. Please do tell me if you like this more <3 We put a lot of effort into it. Now, enjoy !~ Genre : Romance - Smut - Bestfriends to lovers General warnings : Alcohol consumption - Dark themes - Swearing - S m u t - possessiveness - Mention of ex-relationships - jealousy

Synopsis : Isn’t love a matter of timing after all ?That’s what Sabo has always thought. It was about finding the right tempo, making the right moves and hitting the right spot. Patience is a virtue after all, and he had a lot of it. It all started when your ex cheated on you. You were heartbroken, you needed someone and he was there. Was he always that hot ? You didn’t know. But after that night you have never seen him in the same way. Also, please guys comment because this is the first work I put so much efforts in. If I feel like people don't like it, it just feels not worth it to me and discourages me :( I have 2 other multichapters planned but I am thinking of abandoning them because people don't seem to like it...Anyways, please do interact if you like it :)

Part I - Part II -

In the last chapter :

You looked at Sabo go away and you followed him shortly after. Meanwhile Ace was sitting on the couch and watching some movies. You went back home and was quite tormented. It wasn’t the right time to worry as you had your assignments and studies to deal with. On one hand, you didn’t even have the time to think of your ex boyfriend and his cheating but on the other, you felt like you were let down by Sabo.

But why ? He didn’t do anything.

He just found himself a new friend and a potential new girlfriend.He didn’t even talk about her, but why where you so upset by him meeting her ? After all, he had the right to date just like you always did.A few days have passed and you didn’t get the chance to talk to Sabo. Your exams were getting closer and closer and you didn’t feel ready.Usually, Sabo would help you with your assignments but you were too scared to ask. You realized how much you relied on him and how he has been always there for you.

Who were you exactly to him ?

Maybe you took him for granted.

As you were on your bed looking at the ceiling and trying to collect every drop of motivation in your system to study, you heard your phone ring. It was Sabo’s ringtone !

P III

“Hi (Y/N),how are you doing?”

“Oh, Sabo! I'm fine. Kinda busy studying. And you? Haven't heard from you since last time.”

“Sorry about that. My schedule has been extremely tight lately. But I am free now!”

“I was just thinking of you. I have to turn in my history assignment tonight and I might need your help...Pleaaaaaase~ I know you're so good at history, please come save me!”

You could hear him laugh on the other side of the line. His laugh sounded so bright, making your heart flutter. You really did miss him. In the end, you were best friends, right?

“Alright! I'll come rescue you. After all, I have to make up for disappearing.”

“Sabo, you're the best! Would you mind coming to my place?”

“I'll be there in twenty minutes. See you then.”

“See you!”

Hanging up, you thought to yourself: you’ve never been this happy to see Sabo. You rolled on your bed in excitement. Twenty minutes seemed enough to make your room and yourself look somewhat presentable, he has never seen your messy room before. Fifteen minutes later, Sabo was in your room, both of you sat on the bed and started studying. Sabo had always been a top student, he was passionate about history in particular. Helping with your assignments was never a big deal to him.

Now that you gave it some thought, maybe most of your good grades were thanks to his help. He had tutored you many times when you were both in high school and that stayed a constant in your life even now.. Once you finished and sent the file to your professor, it was already late afternoon and Sabo was putting on his coat to go back home.

You had almost forgotten about what happened last week because of all the studying. Things weren't awkward anymore. But you wanted to bring it up because you couldn't help but think about the words he said.

“Sabo ?”

He turned back and looked at you with a smile.

“Yes? Do you need something else?”

“Don't go, I want to...  I want to ask you a question.” You patted the place next to you on the bed.

“Are you alright? You look very pale.” He sat next to you and the proximity made you extremely nervous. Although he had been close to you so many times before, you wondered why this time his proximity was affecting you so. The built up tension was getting unbearable. You could feel the knot in your stomach tighten, but you had to do it, you had to relieve yourself from this situation, otherwise it will still preoccupy you. With a nervous toss of your hair, you asked him, your eyes fixated somewhere on his chest :

“Well...Did I say something weird to you last time?”

“Last time?” he repeats in apparent confusion..

“Well, you know, when I got drunk, did I say something weird?...when you took me back home…”

You didn't even dare look at his face.

“Oh...nothing worth mentioning. Don't worry.” A sweet smile.

Oh, really now? I asked you to fuck me and you're saying “nothing fucking worth mentioning”? Bullshit.

...Or did I make all of that up?

“Didn't I…” you stop, clearing your throat, “didn't I ask you..to...well, you know…” You looked away in exasperation, annoyed that you had to say this and that you could feel your face quickly heating up. You felt your helplessness more fully now as you were discreetly looking at him to guess his reaction. Your eyes were shy and avoiding, looking his way then looking away continuously, almost instinctively.

“Hm? What?” He was amused, the bastard.

“Well...Didn't I ask you to fuck me or something?”

He burst out laughing, looking at your flushed face and the way you said that so fast that he was tempted to tap his ear and tell you that he didn't hear you quite well, but he simply refrained. That would be too much teasing.

For now.

And it wasn't the right time

yet.

“Ha, that.” He marked a pause, “it's only worth mentioning if you want to.”

You bit your lower lip, so he did remember…”Well, about that…”

“Just ask me to and I'll forget.”

But what if I don't want you to forget? You fucking idiot. When did you turn out to be this hot? Did seeing his morning wood put me in such a mood? Do I have this little self-respect? Risking our friendship like this?

He leaned closer to you so that his face was only centimeters away.

His minty breath was ghosting over your cheek;

“But just so you know, there's no going back.”

Was this the same Sabo from a few minutes ago? Was he really tempted to have sex with you? You felt flattered. You thought about Nami's words. Was he really into you? You felt insecure.

You've never felt insecure before.

You contemplated the idea for a second. You had just broken up with your boyfriend and you were now yearning to get fucked by your best friend - a guy that you've never even seen in that way before.

But how many things did you truly know about Sabo? How many things were you not seeing and being unaware of when it came to this man? You were slowly coming to the realization that he had been keeping a lot of things private - his personal life and thoughts mostly held close to himself at all times.

It was always about you in this friendship. And he was patient, oh so patient. You wanted to see all these sides to him that you've never seen before. It was like discovering the hidden door of a secret Eden.

You closed your eyes. You knew that he wouldn't hurt your feelings. You trusted him. You wanted this. You wanted to break the spell that got you dreaming of what you were denied.

You nodded and his smile widened ; Here you were falling, finally.

“I didn't expect anything less from you. What a brave girl you are. I was waiting for you to bring this up. Took you quite a long time.”

He twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers, pressing his hot lips on your forehead. Your breath stopped for a second, eyes closed tightly. You weren't used to this tension, your heart was beating uncomfortably fast.

Where did the prude Sabo that you always imagined go? He was acting normal a few moments ago, and now this? This was definitely more, or at least different than whatever you would have expected.

Your cheeks warmed up at his praise, you were just like a little girl that was given a piece of candy. But you wanted way more.

“Now that I think of it… you haven’t been really good, have you? You said things that you shouldn't have. You’ve tested my patience quite a bit the other day, baby.”

It sounded so natural, the way he called you baby, as if he had always done it. It surprisingly took you not even two seconds to adjust to this new Sabo that you saw. In hindsight, you think you might’ve longed for this Sabo, one who is so open and expressive with you.

“Huh ? What are you on 'bout ? I still stand by my position…”

Saying this was a bad idea.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, it's true, I've never seen you with a girl before. Wouldn't be surprised if you were a virgin. But it's okay, I don't mind… well… teaching you…”

You looked away. It felt a bit off, as if you were playing a role but you were very much into it. There had always been that bratty side to you that he loved so much. He smirked, rolling his eyes. Always with the tough talk huh? He thought.

Smiling knowingly, he reached out for your face. He gently gripped your chin between two fingers, brushing his thumb over your lower lip as he said,

“Looks like you need a good lesson.” He shoved two gloved fingers into your mouth, taking you by surprise and making you instantly back off a bit.

“Hmm. Let's put this dirty mouth of yours to better use.”

He took his fingers out of your mouth, leaving a leathery aftertaste on your tongue. His arm encircled your waist and he held you up effortlessly, securing you against his lap. As you were just wearing a dress, you could feel him getting hard through your panties and you couldn't help but tighten your thighs at this feeling, getting instantly turned on. When did you start wanting him this much?

The corner of his lips curled up as he saw you already getting eager from a simple touch. His arm held your hips in place so you didn’t move around.

He replaced his fingers with his lips, kissing you hungrily. It was nothing like that drunken kiss that you both shared the other night. His tongue got you feeling butterflies in your stomach, heart pounding so hard as you pressed your chest against his, seeking his warmth.

You were going have sex with your best friend and he had a huge dick and he was nothing close to the vanilla prude guy that you expected him to be. You were thrilled. Everything happened so fast. You never realized that you were so desperate for his touch.

You tangled your fingers into his blond locks, moaning into the kiss. You pulled away, cheeks ablaze, impressed by his skills.

“You're a good kisser…”

“Look at you getting all worked up by a kiss...Tell me, who's the virgin here, huh?”

You blushed at his remark and looked away. Cute, he thought to himself.

But it wasn't enough. Not yet. With a sense of urgency, you kissed him again as if it was your last chance to taste his lips. His pace was slower, he wanted to take his time to enjoy this moment while you wanted to rush it up and go to the next step. Breathless, you pull away, hesitant and curious.

“Sabo, do you… Do you like me?”

“I do.” He put his forehead against yours, making you  look deeply into his eyes. The look he was giving you seemed unfamiliar, making you feel intimidated. How did he hide his feelings so well and why did he say them now?If he said he liked me before, would it have been differentWhat changed within him, to make him act like this and most importantly, what changed within you to make you need him so badly? You dipped in for a kiss, trying to get a grasp on your feelings. It didn't feel weird, it felt good, as if you had wanted it for so long.

“Sabo,” you stuttered. He loved the way your voice cracked, how hesitant you were, how your cheekiness disappeared, leaving behind only your conflicted emotions. “I thought about what you said last time and...I...I think I want to. Now.” You emphasised on the last word, goading him into agreeing.

A victorious smile danced on his lips.

“You think?”

He smirked and lifted your chin up so you could look right into his eyes. You couldn't help but close the gap between the two of you, shamelessly rocking on his thighs to get some friction. You kept thinking about the words he had said when you were drunk, you really wanted him. Yes, maybe it was just lust. Maybe it was just a strong desire to sabotage the most precious thing that you had. But for now, you needed his warmth. He pulled back, making you groan in displeasure like a cat in heat. He smiled, his lips barely grazing yours and added,

“You're not ready yet, kitten.”

The look of disappointment on your face said it all. You couldn't believe he turned you down. Once again. You were so adorable, for a moment he thought that he would just snap and take you right there.

“What do you mean ‘I'm not ready yet’ ?! I just said I was. I want you too. That's what I said. I'm sober now, I'll recall how good you are.”

“Patience is a virtue.”

He smiles, and you would’ve given years off your life just to punch him. You could swear you still felt him hard against you and he was acting so composed. You didn't want to let him go.

You were scared that if you did, he would disappear into dust. You felt so desperate, so humiliated.Dying for his attention and heartbroken from past experiences.

“I have to go now.” He lifts you up with ease, placing you on the bed again. He then put his coat on. You looked at him leave with puppy eyes and for a second he hesitated. He was tempted to change his mind. But he had waited for so long and he couldn't afford to ruin everything now. Not when you were so close, so ready and eager to take him.

“Don't go.” You pleaded.

“And who will feed Ace?” He says with a smile.

“I don't care. Don't go…” You got up and hugged him from behind, tightly, letting your mask fall. His departure and abrupt ending of the tense situation he had placed you in, his act so nonchalant, had awakened some insecurity within you.It was driving you insane.

You were confused.

His heart melted at your sweetness. He remembered the reason behind his love for you. You were so fragile, so honest.

“I really have to go, princess.” How could he say such things so easily? “But I promise that I will make up for it next time.”

---

Tag list : @vemuabhi @chloe-abbacchio @mwls-garden @soanywaysistartedsimping @portgaslari @lofi-coffee If you wanna get tagged just ask for it :)

[robinrunsfiction]

To The Vows You Take - Chapter 6

(This is the longest chapter in the whole story, enjoy!)

Chapter 5

"About time you got here," Ray snarked when (YN) and Frank finally boarded the bus in Washington. "Why'd you guys have to change your flight?"

“We had to go to Vegas,” (YN) replied simply as she started unpacking some of her things into her bunk. She was trying to suppress the smile that was fighting to form on her face.

“What? To get married or something?” Gerard laughed.

“Yea,” Frank replied with a shrug. 

(YN) glanced over at Ray and Gerard, who were stunned into silence for a moment. They looked at each other, then back at their bandmates.

“You guys were dating?!” Gerard asked, totally astonished. "How did we not notice?! Why didn’t you say anything?!"

“I knew something was going on!” Ray exclaimed. "They've been acting different all year! I knew it!"

“Nope, we weren't dating,” (YN) answered.

Gerard’s eyes went wide. “(YN), are you, you're not pre-”

“No! Oh my god, no!” She rolled her eyes. “Me and Frank agreed in high school that if we weren’t married by 25, we’d marry each other.”

“Well shit, congratulations! We gotta celebrate, right?” Ray asked, getting excited.

“Hell yea!” Frank chimed in. “You guys buy the champagne!”

“Do you wanna announce it at the show tonight?” Gerard asked.

“No!” (YN) was quick to reply. “It’s just that we haven’t told our families yet. We don't wanna have them find out through the press.”

Gerard nodded. "Ok, but wow, I still can’t believe you guys eloped!"

"Believe it, baby," Frank said, patting Gerard on the cheek as he walked by.

~

“Ok, ready to call your mom?” Frank asked.

“No,” (YN) deadpanned.

“Better now than waiting any later,” he replied. It had been about a week since they had tied the knot and (YN) had been putting off calling her mom as long as possible. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of what they’d done, she just knew how her mom would react.

Frank pushed the call button on the phone in front of them and (YN) hoped it would just go to voicemail.

“Hello?” (YN)’s mom’s voice came through the speaker of the phone.

“Hey mom,” (YN) started wearily.

“Hi sweetie, what’s going on? I’m at the grocery store.”

(YN) winced and Frank had to stifle a giggle. “Umm, by any chance do you remember back when I was home for Christmas and that letter came that I wrote to myself?”

“Yes, vaguely.”

“Do you remember the one thing I said I hadn’t done?”

“No, off the top of my head I can’t say that I do.”

“Umm, well I’ve got you on speaker phone because Frank is here too and I called to tell you we went through with our pact to get married.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you, it’s loud in here, you did what?”

“Me and Frank got married in Vegas,” (YN) practically shouted. Frank was hiding his face to control his laughter and (YN) reached over and smacked his arm.

“What?!” In the background it sounded like glass breaking. “And you didn’t even call to tell me?!”

“I mean, I told you when I read the letter,” (YN) rubbed her eyes.

“Not that you were gonna go through with marrying Frankie! Oh, is Frankie there now?”

“Yea, hi Ms. (YLN),” he replied.

“Hi sweetie! Congratulations and welcome to the family!”

(YN) looked at Frank, jaw dropped, as he practically gloated. “Thank you Ms. (YLN).”

“(YN) I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me until after the fact!”

“We didn’t tell anyone, not even the other guys!” (YN) argued. "It's not eloping if everyone knows!"

“Well, have you told Frankie’s parents yet?”

“No, you’re our first call” (YN) replied, rolling her eyes.

“Ok good. Oh, goodness I didn’t even notice I dropped the jar of pickles, I’ve got to go, I want more details later, buh-bye.”

“Bye,” (YN) said, hanging up. "Yea it's a good thing we didn't tell her we called your mom first, she woulda lost it. Are you gonna call your dad?"

"Yea," he replied, already pulling up the contact info on his phone. 

"K, I'm gonna go grab some coffee," she said, getting up.

"How'd your mom react?" Gerard asked, looking up when (YN) walked in.

"She dropped a jar of pickles in the middle of the grocery store," (YN) sighed as she poured a mug of coffee.

Gerard chuckled. "Are you done?"

"No, Frank's calling his dad right now."

"That will go well," Gerard nodded reassuringly. 

"Yea, I think you’re right," she nodded as she made her way to the back of the bus where they'd been making the calls in privacy.

"So you finally told her-"

"Dad, hang on," Frank interrupted and (YN) gave Frank a confused look as she walked in. "Umm, no, but don't worry about it. Actually (YN) just walked in."

"Hi, Mr Iero," she greeted him brightly.

"I'm glad you're sticking together. Ever since you were kids, you two have been a team. That's what you want in life,  someone who is on your team. Friendship should come first, all that romance bullshit can come later on."

(YN) and Frank laughed, but when she glanced over at him, she saw he was looking at her. She smiled and looked away, realizing how much she was suddenly blushing. That was the problem. She could no longer deny the fact that she wanted the romantic bullshit with Frank. Her stomach did flips when he would look at her from across the room, his smile made her weak in the knees. She’d fallen for him completely, and she didn’t know what to do.

~

Frank had just taken a drag off his cigarette when a black SUV pulled up in the parking lot where their tour bus was parked. At long last, Mikey was back. He hopped up off the curb he was sitting on and warmly welcomed his friend with a hug. "Welcome back, man!"

"Hey! And congrats! I take a couple months off and half the band gets married?" Mikey laughed as he stored one of his bags in the compartment under the bus.

"That’s what happens when you’re not here to supervise us,” Frank laughed. “Did you know me and (YN) had originally planned to elope the day you and Alicia got married?"

"Seriously?" Mikey seemed genuinely shocked as they returned to the spot on the curb where Frank had been sitting. It was the only shade in sight.

"Yep."

“Where is she, by the way?” 

“On the phone with our realtor, we’re gonna see some houses when we’re back in Jersey before we head over to Europe.”

“Damn, you are serious about this.”

“As serious as a goddamn heart attack.”

“Wait, so how did all this happen again?”

“We made this pact in high school, we’d get married if we were still single at 25. And the chance to spend my life with (YN)? I’m not gonna pass that up.”

“You have feelings for her?”

“I’m surprised I’ve hid them this well for so long.”

“Shit,” Mikey muttered, taking the almost spent cigarette out of Frank’s hands and taking a drag himself. “So it’s happily ever after.”

“Not until I work up the nerve to tell her.”

Mikey coughed, Frank’s words taking him by surprise. “Wait, you haven’t told her?!”

Frank let his head hang. “Oh so you've been married like three months longer than me, and now you know it all? Just keep it between us ok?”

“Yea, yea I can, but you should tell her. She’s your wife.”

Frank couldn’t help the smile that formed across his face upon hearing those words. “Yea. I just gotta figure out the right time.”

~

(YN) had just finished applying her stage makeup when the door to the green room opened. She was surprised that it was only Mikey coming in, and no one else was with him. 

“Hey,” she said, glancing over at him. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Got pulled into an interview,” he answered, coming to stand behind her, checking his hair in the mirror.

“Ah yes, the joys of not being a guitarist or singer,” she smirked.

“I know right?” He laughed before flopping down on the couch. “So congrats.”

“Thanks,” she laughed lightly, shaking her head. “It’s crazy, right?”

“Why?”

"Because I saw 'My Best Friend's Wedding' at an impressionable age, and now I’m married to my bandmate.”

"What's wrong with that?"

(YN) sighed and shook her head. “Promise not to tell?”

Mikey sat up and nodded. “Of course.”

"It’s a problem because I realized that I've fallen in love with Frank and can't tell him because it'll ruin our marriage,” she explained and Mikey let out a laugh. “It’s absurd right?”

"You gotta tell him, (YN)."

(YN) just groaned in response. “But what if it fucks everything up?”

Mikey sighed. "You should be honest with the people you love," he replied. "Especially when it's about how you feel."

(YN) nodded silently.

“So... have you guys hooked up.”

“Mikey!"

"I’m just trying to lighten the mood!” He said defensively. “And I take your reaction as a yes."

(YN) smirked. "Fine, you wanna know? There was one time we did a long time ago."

“Wait, when?!”

“You probably don’t remember, but a long long time ago, I’m talking back in the van days, we were actually staying in a hotel for once. You, Gee, Ray, and Brian all went out, but me and Frank stayed back.”

“Oh yea! We were wondering if something happened that night,” Mikey laughed.

“Yep,” she said, getting up from her chair and starting to make her way toward the door. “And it was in the bed you and Ray shared that night! Bye!”

“Ew! What the fuck (YN)?!” Mikey shouted, as she ran out of the room, laughing evilly.

[jjmaybanksbaby]

Where It Leads (Rafe Cameron)

Summer III

Part 05: With Some Other Girl

series masterlist | previous part

summary: Rafe’s actions surprised you when there’s no awkwardness lingering from last summer.

a/n: New summer new drama!! We're more than halfway through this series and I might post the final two parts within a week so be on the lookout! That's all! Enjoy part five xx

word count: 2.2k words

Nowhere on the East or West coast did seafood quite like The Wreck. During your summers in the Outer Banks, you made sure that practically every other meal consisted of their to-die-for shrimp or amazing crab. For your birthday, back in October, your mom had even looked into getting food from The Wreck shipped to you before realizing that might have been a stretch.

You waited at the bar for the girl with the curly golden brown hair, and especially kind eyes, to return from the kitchen with your order. The smells of the food cooking made your mouth water.

A boy, who looked about your younger brother's age slide onto the bar stool next to you. His dirty blond hair fell into his eyes, clearly in need of a good haircut.

"Leave the customers alone, JJ." The girl set a paper bag with your food down in front of you, grease staining the bottom.

"I wasn't even doing anything, Kie," JJ protested.

"You're total's $40.53. Do you need a receipt?" She asked, taking your mom's card from your outstretched hand.

"I'm JJ, by the way." He held out his hand for you to shake but the girl - Kie, was it? - smacked it away.

"She's way out of your league, idiot. Sorry about him," she said turning to you.

You smiled at the both of them, their playfulness reminding you of your own friends from back home. "Nice to meet you, JJ." You picked up your bag of food, turning to leave.

"She was so into me." You heard JJ whisper to Kie as you walked to the front door.

"No way, is that y/n?" You froze, a few steps away from the exit, knowing exactly who that voice belonged to. "Hey," Rafe called again. "Get over here."

You'd been back in the Outer Banks a total of three days. You definitely hadn't been planning on seeing Rafe Cameron so soon. Well, after how last summer had ended, you hadn't really been counting on seeing him at all.

You spun on your heel, plastering on your best fake smile, and headed in the direction of Rafe's voice.

It's okay. Act casual. He's just an old friend. There doesn’t have to be any weirdness. You said to yourself, trying to calm your nerves.

Rafe was seated in a corner booth at the back of the restaurant, his arm slung over Phoebe’s shoulder who, herself, was sitting practically in his lap. Her expression looked especially irate at the fact that you were interrupting their - what was going on exactly? A date?

"Uh, hey guys," you said, approaching their table.

"Y/n!" Rafe repeated. "You're back for the summer?"

"Yeah, we got in a few days ago.”

"How are you? How's the boyfriend?"

Why the fuck was Rafe asking about Evan? You wondered, your eyes narrowing trying to gather some explanation from Rafe's face.

"We actually broke up. Last September. He hasn't been my boyfriend for a while." Correction, you'd gone back to Oregon and hadn't stopped thinking about Rafe, for the second year in a row. It didn't seem fair to Evan so you’d tried to let him down gently, the week before auditions for the fall musical no less. It became pretty clear how torn up about it he was when he started crying during the monologue portion of his audition and the tears weren't the kind you forced out solely for a performance.

"How sad," Phoebe said, turning her lip down in a fake pout making it clear she couldn't care less.

You just smiled back at her, not wanting to give any kind of validation. You could feel Rafe eyes on you.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll see you around." You turned to leave. Your mom was waiting outside in the car, probably wondering what was taking so long.

"I hope so," Rafe replied.

☼☼☼

You blinked your eyes open, adjusting to the bright sunlight filling the room. You rubbed the sleep from them, yawning.

Holy shit. This was definitely not your bedroom; this was Rafe's room. The events of last night came rushing back, the morning bless falling away.

You'd run into Cleo at the grocery store after your mom had sent you to get an onion she needed for dinner. Cleo had been buying chasers for Sawyer's my-parents-aren't home-and-they-left-the-liquor-cabinet-unlocked party and invited you. And you went. Which was probably the first mistake of the night.

Rafe had greeted you at the door with the kind of smile that screamed "I don't even remember our fight last summer." You'd opted to ignore the white powder under his nose, likely the reason for his bloodshot eyes.

The party had run dry after a few hours so Rafe offered to grab some more from his house since his whole family was in the Bahamas house for the weekend. You’d went with him because what the hell. The night hadn’t even been the least bit awkward. Mistake number two.

You sat on the Cameron's island counter as Rafe riffled through the cabinet, trying to decide which bottle Ward was least likely to notice was missing.

"Do you trust me?" He’d asked.

That was a loaded question but you’d nodded your head yes. He'd pushed your knees apart, stepping in between your legs like that's where he belonged.

"Tilt your head back," he'd instructed and you had.

Rafe uncapped the bottle of Malibu, pouring it straight into your mouth. He’d hummed with satisfaction as you swallowed the liquid. Your eyes locked as he ran a thumb up your neck and over your chin, whipping away the bit that had spilled before he brought your lips to meet his. It was by far the hottest thing anyone had ever done.

The kiss had tasted salty and coconutty, like the drink he had just poured into your mouth. He moved his other hand to your hip, pulling you in closer.

You'd only broken apart to fumble your way upstairs and into his room, shedding your clothing on the way, your lips finding each other's again and again, kissing like there was some ticking clock counting down the seconds.

You remembered the way Rafe's name had tumbled off your lips with his hand between your thighs. How his blue eyes held yours as he pushed into you. The sweet praises that he whispered into your ears as the both of you came underdone together. The way it all felt so fucking right, like the universe apologizing for the last two summers.

You hadn't meant to fall asleep, to spend the night in Rafe Cameron's bed but he'd wrapped his arm around you and your head fell to rest on his chest and sleep just came.

You kept your movements slow afraid of creaky floorboard as you slipped out of his bed. Sneaking out without Rafe waking up was sure to be the path of less resistance. Hadn't last night been a drunken mistake?

Your shorts had landed next to the bed and your bra was hanging from the door handle, the irony of that wasn't lost on you.

Rafe cleared his throat. "Good morning," he said. Oh, shit. So he was awake.

"I was just looking for my shirt," you replied.

The Cameron's front door opened with a bang. Cole and Milo's voices filled the house seconds later.

"Dude," Cole hollered. "Who'd you fuck last night? Some chick's panties are on your staircase."

Rafe's eyes meet yours and he leaped out of his bed. "Linen closet," he hissed, pulling open the door of the hallway closet and pushing you inside. "Stay here."

His footsteps echoed as he rushed down the stairs, stopping at the bottom to pick up your underwear and shove them in his back pocket.

"I need a fucking boat day," Rafe said to the boys. "I'm hungover as fuck. Can you go see if the Yeti coolers' in the garage? I think Ward brought it up from the boat last time."

"Uhh, yeah, sure," Milo answered. "C'mon Cole."

The sounds of their chatter disappeared and Rafe ran back up the stairs, pulling open the closet. "Okay, the coast is clear."

"Rafe, should we...uh...you know...talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about?" He asked back.

"Right," you answered unsure if you really believed that casual sex with Rafe Cameron was a possibility. "Can I have my underwear back?"

He shrugged, a smirk growing on his lips. "Nah, I think I'm gonna hold onto them. For safekeeping." What kind of bullshit patriarchal move was that? He looked over his shoulder to the lower level. "Milo and Cole will be back any second, you should probably go."

☼☼☼

You silently thanked your yesterday-self for having left your window unlocked just in case. You closed it quietly behind you and dove into your bed. The door to your bedroom swung open seconds later.

"Why are you still in bed y/n? I told you yesterday that we were going dress shopping for Midsummers today at noon. It’s less than a week away. Get up, please," your mom said.

"Sorry, mom. I'll meet you downstairs in ten."

"Hurry up." She pulled the door closed behind her as she left your room.

You breathed a sigh of relief, throwing off the covers you had hicked up to your neck to hide last night's outfit. Shit, had you really slept with Rafe Cameron? And then he brushed it off like it wasn't going to change things? As if whatever was going between the two of you couldn't get more complicated.

☼☼☼

The light bounced off the three-way mirror you were standing in front of, making the bedding on the dress sparkle.

"Turn around," your mother instructed. Apparently, this year's Midsummers’ theme was Hollywood Glamour like it was the fucking Met Gala or something so she'd been forcing you and in out of red dresses for the past hour and a half. "I really like this one y/n. The bow is so cute."

You resisted rolling your eyes. The bow was hideous, plus the high-low skirt screamed middle school dance. The bedding was itchy and you’d hardly had the dress on for five minutes.

The front door chimed announcing a new customer and Phoebe's figure appeared in the reflection of the mirror.

"I'm gonna go try on a different one, mom," you said, trying to duck into the changing room before Phoebe had the chance to see you.

"Wait, wait wait." Your mom grabbed your hips pulling you back in front of the mirror. "I just think this looks perfect on you, sweetie. Look," she stepped behind you, using one hand to twist your hair up into a makeshift updo. "you can wear your hair pinned up like this and we can get you a sparkly headband. It'll be gorgeous.”

You definitely weren't wearing any kind of a headband based on the fact that you weren't twelve anymore but, more important, you needed to get out of Phoebe’s line of sight like now. "Yeah, okay, mom. That sounds fine. We can get it then."

"Aw, honey. Do you not like it?" She asked, cocking her head to the side. "Cause we can try a different score. Even though this is the only dress store for thirty miles," she mumbled under her breath.

Phoebe glanced over from the front counter, her eyes meeting yours in the mirror. Your mother's voice became muffled as panic rose in your chest. You hadn't even thought about it last night but now all you could remember was Phoebe with Rafe's arm wrapped around her at The Wreck.

Phoebe abandoned her position at the front of the store, walking over to you.

"Hi y/n!" She started, her voicer reaching an octave that screamed fake niceties. "You must be y/n's mom. You two couldn't look anything more alike." That was a lie. You and your mom couldn't look more different. It was your older sister who was practically your mother’s clone.

God, what game was Phoebe playing?

"Oh my gosh.” She took half a step closer forcing you to notice the couple inches she had on you. "Is this your dress for Midsummers? It's so cute," she said, somehow managing to pronounce cute with two syllables.

Another lie. The dress was terrible.

"I'm just picking up my dress too. Custom-made." Phoebe flashed a smile to your mom. "I'm trying to talk Rafe into getting a matching bow-tie but he refuses. Boys," she giggled.

Shhe must have registered the look of surprise on your face. "Oh, did he not tell you we were going together? I wouldn't take it personally. We've been going together since freshman year. It's tradition at this point."

The saleswoman returned from the back of the store, a garment bag in her hand. "Well, I've gotta run. See you around!" She pranced off, her vanilla perfume lingering in the air.

"She seems nice. I'm so glad you're making friends here, honey.”

"Oh, yeah. She’s the best." If your mom heard the sarcasm in your voice, she chose to ignore it. "I'm going to try on the black one," you huffed, heading back into the changing room.

It wasn't like going with Rafe to Midsummers was in the realm of possibilities anyway, so why was it bothering you so much that he was taking Phoebe? Either way, there was nothing stopping you from making Rafe wish it was you on his arm instead. Petty wasn’t usually your style but something about the memory of Rafe’s lip on your neck being fresh in your mind made all rational thoughts go out the window. Game on Phoebe.

taglist! @oreoenthusiast13 [drop a ☀️ in my inbox or messages if you want to be added]

[thefreakydeaky]

Call Out My Name

Part Six Title: A Lonely Night

Characters: Negan, Reader, The Saviors,The Wives

Summary: You belonged to him.Try as you might to pretend indifference, Negan’s very presence has awakened feelings in you that you believed had died with the old world.Is the ruthless King of the Sanctuary still human enough to fall in love?

Warnings: Language, Canon Typical Negan BS, Diet Dr.Angst

Word Count: 2,145

“Can I trust you, Y/n?” He asked as you lay together after.

“Yes, you can.”

“I don’t know how to say it...”

Your eyebrows rose.

“You? At a loss for words? I don’t believe it.”

Negan chuckled dryly.

“I don’t know how to say it nicely.”He amended, his tongue poked out to wet his lip as he tried to find the right words.

“Do you remember what I said to you about my position as a leader?”

You shook your head ‘no’.

“It’s precarious.I work damn hard to make sure my people are taken care of and to make sure that everyone knows not to fuck with me.As I’m sure you have realized, I like to be on top.”

“Mhmm..”

“Sometimes that means I have to bash in a few heads. Sometimes it means I have to take a new wife, but I’d say I have everything I could want within reason. Wouldn’t you?”

You nodded in agreement.

“So imagine my surprise, when I go out to do some head bashing and find that despite all i have there is one thing I not only want, but need...You.” His expression softened as he gazed into your eyes. “The moment I saw you, I recognized you as my other self. That’s why I did it. That’s why I called you my wife without asking.We were made for each other. I can’t explain how I know, I just know, Y/n.”

You blinked back tears, overwhelmed by the unmistakeable ring of truth his confession held. You looked back up to find him watching your face wearily.

“How can I be sure you won’t think how I feel about you is a weakness?”

You laced your fingers with his.

“You aren’t weak.Neither am I.We have both put survival above everything else.”

He winced.

“Hell, that isn’t reassuring in the least.”

You smiled apologetically.

“What I’m getting at is, if you’re open to it, we could try putting each other first and survival second.You know, the way relationships were pre-walker?”

“And what would you know about that, hmm?”

“I was in a relationship back when.”

“What, some high school sweetheart bullshit?” He sighed, incredulity in his voice.

“No.” You turned onto your belly. “I was in a serious relationship with an older man.”

“Were you now?”

“I was.”

“What was he like?” Negan pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

“Do you really wanna know?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

You smirked at the envy in his eyes.

“He was...fifteen or so years older than me.”

“Mhmm.”

You carded your fingers through Negan’s hair.

“He had pretty blue eyes and a very nice smile.”

“What did he do?”

“He was a policeman.”

“A cop? You were dating a cop?” His brow furrowed.

“Is that surprising?” You grinned.

“It is.” He grumbled. “Did you love ‘um.”

“It was complicated, but I did love him. Then we broke up, the world changed for the worse,and I had bigger things to worry about than him.”

Negan mulled on that for a moment.

"I ever tell you I was married before the world went to shit?"

Try as he might to hide behind a veneer of nonchalance, you sensed some dark emotions beneath the act.

"Not very successfully, but she meant a great deal to me."

You nodded.

"I was shit at showing it, but I'm sure you know a thing or two about that."He grimaced.

Negan looked into your eyes. In the depths of his gaze you could see a sorrow so intense, it made your heart ache with compassion.

“Do you think we could make it if we tried?” He asked too casually.

“Yes, I reckon we could.” You kissed the back of his hand.

You felt so filled with warmth you could burst.

Negan kissed the corner of your mouth lovingly.

“You have my whole heart, Y/n.”

He took you into his arms.

"Until my last breath."

Feeling safer than you had in years, you snuggled into his embrace and reveled in the wonder of being loved.

Staring out of the window did nothing to improve his mood.Lighting flashed in a black as midnight sky at eleven o'clock in the morning.

"What's the plan?"Negan asked the room at large, taking a seat at the head of the table.

His lieutenants sat in a make shift conference room, looking worse for the wear from the battle with Alexandria.

Dwight tapped the back end of a switch blade on the table, seemingly deep in thought.Regina sat arms crossed over her chest glaring at Dwight's hands.The minutes ticked by quietly. Negan's already strained patience was growing thin.Gavin tilted his chair back and sighed.

“There's nothing left for us to do, 'cept kill them all."Simon concluded.

“Dwight?" Negan posed wearily.

"We don't need to kill all them people to get them in line.We just have to kill the right ones."

Negan narrowed his eyes at him.

"The right people, meaning who? Rick Grimes?"

“Grimes, The Widow, and The Ki- “ Dwight grimaced. “Ezekiel.” He amended apologetically.

“Hmm..." Their leader scratched at his chin, in contemplation.

"We'll put 'em on a platform, make it bloody, make sure they all see it happen." Dwight's gruff voice provided.

"I like the way you think, Dwight." Negan responded at last."Si, how long you need to get this set up?"

A blood thirsty grin broke out on Simon's face.

"We'll be ready by morning." He replied.

To the Saviors Simon directed a gung-ho,“Let's go to work."

Mean while, back at the doll house, boredom and gloom drove the wives to the parlor.

"We could play a game?"Tanya suggested.

Amber emitted a petulant huff in response and continued flipping through a beat up issue of Vogue

"We can play a drinking game."Sherri suggested.

“A drinking game?"You repeated uncertainly.

"We are all adults here, we're stuck 'till Negan says otherwise."Tanya pointed out.

"We might as well."Amber intoned, tossing her magazine aside.

You glanced uncertainly at Sherri.For a moment you considered declining, but much to their surprise, you agreed.

"Okay, What are we playing?"

Frankie sat up in her chair, with sudden interest.

“Never have I ever!”Sherri and Tanya said in unison.

You swallowed in an attempt to soothe your suddenly dry throat.This was a disaster waiting to happen.

Amber took it upon herself to serve each person in the room a generous shot of vodka.

“The way it works is, we take turns asking a question.Well sort of a question sort a not.”Sherri hedged.

“If it’s my turn I’d say something like, Never have I ever...smoked a joint.”

“Bullshit.”Frankie laughed.

“If you have smoked a joint you do a shot.If you haven't, you don’t.It’s fun.Trust me.” Sherri’s enthusiastic grin was a little scary.

You had never seen her smile before today.You eyed her skeptically, but didn’t back out.

“Why don’t we go from youngest to oldest?”You suggested.

Amber went around the room handing out the generous glasses she had poured to each of you.

“Go on then.”Sherri encouraged Frankie.

“Alright, never have I ever...given a blowjob.”

“Ha! That’s a cheat! We all know He loves getting head.”Tanya chuckled.

“Is not!”

You all took a shot.

Amber went around the room refilling the glasses.

As the game went on, you slowly began to relax.The questions were invasive at times, but no one had caused any trouble so far.

“Never have I ever”Tanya began, “been tied up during sex.”

“Ugh Tanya!”Amber exclaimed in disgust.

Sherri’s eyes were fixed on you.

She is so damn nosey. You frowned, but you were a good sport and drank just the same. To your surprise, so did Frankie.

You shared a knowing look then burst out laughing.Sherri was not amused.

“Never have I ever been to Texas?”Amber tried.

You shook your head.

“Never have I ever kissed another girl.”You threw out eyeing each of them in turn.

Frankie, Tanya, and You all took another shot.

“Really, Y/n?”Amber’s eyes went wide with curiosity.

“Oh, come on don’t act so shocked.It’s the freakin" apocalypse.”Frankie scoffed.

“Alright alright, never have I ever been eaten out by Negan.” Sherri said smoothly.

You cringed at the obvious ploy.

Tanya,Sherri, and Frankie each took a shot.

You could feel them all scrutinizing you.You and Amber were the odd ones out. You refused to rise to the bait.What happened between you and Negan was none of their business.

“Amber” Sherri prompted when she remained quiet for too long.

“Oh, uh, yes. Never have I ever..” She wracked her brain trying to come up with something, but came up empty. “Never have I ever had a three some??”

“Booooo!” a sloppy drunk Frankie complained.”We already asked that one.”

“Right right...”

“How about never have I eveeer, had a sexual fantasy about a Savior.” Frankie suggested.

Tanya blushed fiercely and took the shot.

The look on Amber’s face was bleak.

“Never have I ever been to Canada.”Sherri said quickly changing the subject.

No one drank.You felt bad for Amber.You had forgotten that some of these girls used to be in relationships with the men that were now Saviors.

Tanya smirked at you.

“Never have I ever, had sex with Negan in the middle of the day.”She said much too chipper for your liking.

“Just Negan?”

“Yes.”

You knew what she meant to find out, but you refused to go there with her. You didn’t take the shot.

Her brown eyes blazed into yours.She and Sherri drank simultaneously.

“Never have I ever lied to my husband.”You deadpanned to remind them that you were in this together.

Every one of them drank.

“Never have I ever had a sex related injury.”

Sherri stared at Tanya when she didn't drink.

“Taanyaa”

“Sherriii” Tanya mocked good naturedly.

“You have.”She insisted.

Tanya winced and took the shot. Embarrassed and hoping no one would ask the million dollar question.

“Okay, but how??”Frankie asked.

Tanya covered her blushing face in her hands.

“Damn it Sherri.”

“She was with Simon on a free pass day.”

Frankie rolled her eyes.”You know how that goes”

Sherri raised an eyebrow. “Not all of us do.”

"He gets a little...gymnastic." Tanya admitted, blushing.

“Never have I ever wanted to fuck Simon.” Amber singsonged.

“It’s not even your turn!” Tanya winced and took the shot.

You were feeling so warm and buzzing hard.You unthinkingly took the shot along with Tanya and Frankie.

“Simon?” Sherri’s voice was filled with judgement.

“Surprised?”

“Not even a little.” She sniffed.

“Anyone ever tell you, you’re awful judgmental for a woman in a polygamist marriage?” You snarked.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.You act pretty high and mighty for someone who sucks the same cock the rest of us do.”

“I’m not like you.” She hissed venomously.”I didn’t fucking choose this!”

“And you think I did?”Amber stood, swaying drunkly.

“Not you.” Sherri’s voice lost it’s venom. “But the rest of you did.”

“You’re so wrong for thinkin’ that and even worse for sayin’ it!” Tanya’s eyes filled with tears.

“Sherri, You’ve been talking down to me ever since I got here.” You spoke louder than you intended to.

“Yeah? And what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m not the one with the problem.”

“You sure as shit act like it.”

You threw your glass in her general direction. It pelted her in the shoulder and rolled onto the floor.

“Bitch if you’re feelin’ froggy go ahead and fuckin’ jump.”

The double doors burst wide open.

“What in the hell is going on in here?” Negan thundered looking around the room with an irritated scowl.

No one moved.Sherri’s fury was still apparent in her expression.You wondered how long he’d been listening.

“Explain.Now.” He demanded picking on Tanya who hadn’t said a thing.

“W-well...We were drinking and playing some stupid game. About sex.”Her eyes darted between you and Sherri.

“A sex game?” Negan repeated, disbelief in his tone.

“Yupp. Not a one of us’s been to Canada and Y/n kissed a girl, Now Sherri thinks we’re all a buncha sluts.” Amber hiccuped.

Negan took a steadying breath and stared down each of you in turn.

“Well I’ll be damned." He scrutinized Amber's slight swaying figure and shook his head. "Sweetheart, you are trashed!I’m cuttin’ you off.”

Negan took the bottle of vodka from her. From the look on her face, she had forgotten she was holding it.

“I’ll get you some water.” Frankie nodded decisively and tried to shake off her buzz.

She swayed a little on her way to the sink.

“So what I’m gettin’ here is, you all got wasted and started swapping stories about sex with me?”

You didn’t know what to say.You were, despite Sherri being an asshat, feeling pretty good right about now.

“You are around each other all day every freakin’ day and the subject has never come up before?” He asked with feigned interest.”I don’t know if I should take that as an insult or a compliment.”

Finally got a taste of his own medicine.

You snickered.

“What’s so funny over there,Y/n?”

Uh-oh no pet names.Daddy is maaad.

The ridiculous thought made you chuckle and soon you were emitting peels of laughter so infectious that Tanya started laughing too.

“You cut that shit out!It is not fucking funny.” He shifted his weight, brought lucille onto his shoulder, then licked his lips. “I don’t like drama.”

Sherri rolled her eyes.

“Coulda fooled me.” Amber jibed under her breath.

You mashed your lips together to hold back your smile.

“What did you just say?”

Amber shook her head.

You batted your lashes at him.

His nostrils flared like he could smell the insubordination.

“Wow I am havin’ a damn hard time rememberin’ why I thought keeping so many women around was a good idea.”

“Cause you expected a nonstop orgy?” You suggested. “Ya reap what ya sew, Babe.”

“What the ever loving fuck?” A pained look crossed his face.

“I mean,” Your languid gaze swept the room. “It isn’t right, but I get it.” You shrugged.

“That’s enough. I don’t have the patience to deal with all of you at once.Every one of you to your bedrooms! I don’t want to hear one peep out of you for the rest of the day.”

“Sure thing, Daddy.” The corners of your lips quirked into an almost grin as you stood and headed for your room.

“Smart ass.” He grumbled following behind you.

[stabbedinthenameofscience]

Tom Hiddleston's lanky nature, long legs, long fingers, are some of the physical features that have drawn me.

Some stories to bring about why:

A moment in time- Albion, MI, where I lived before here. I'm tutoring in a GED program. One of the other tutors notices my hands. I have long fingers. The joints are a little angular, thanks to the hypermobility and the arthritis that has already started to damage them (I am in my early 20s at this time). He tells me he's never seen hands like mine. Fingers like mine. Lanky. I've never thought of them as pretty, though at one time I considered they might be elegant. I could do pretty things with rings, especially in tiers, some floating above my second knuckles.

But this person...he tells me of this syndrome he's read about, how these hands are irregular, different, something that's a sign of a hidden something worse. Something I should (or shouldn't look up). And it did two things. 1) It sent me down a reading rabbit hole that scared me for a while, before I realized this was an unrealistic fear. 2) It made me incredibly self-conscious about my hands and planted that seed of self-doubt that I no longer saw them as something neutral, or simply hands, but something odd, awkward, abnormal. That lasted for years. I've gotten more neutral about them over the years, especially as I start wondering when their function is just going to impede the things I love to do, including writing. They aren't just hands. They are a part of me this degenerative disorder may some day claim and that scares the living fuck out of me. They are something I need to use as much as I can now, strengthen, and enjoy what they can do for me, what I can do with them, regardless of how they look. I can take pride in the strength of these hands (when I have it), with the fact they can type, on a good day, upwards of 70 words in a minute (often with surprising accuracy). I can take pride in their aptitude with tools, with the way my long fingers can reach things others can't, or I can steady them to the point where, when they don't shake, can paint a beautiful line, courtesy of my training in scene painting. They can make, and they can make beautiful things. I'm making my own wedding dress, which, while not traditional by any stretch, is something that is still a feat I can take incredible pride in.

These hands have held children, built a life, and repaired things I've been told were irreparable or only worth the rubbish bin.

And yet, thanks to one person's fascination with them so many years ago (going on twelve at this point), the damage was done and I still look at them in some moments of self-doubt and insecurity and think they're ugly, they're "old person hands" (I turn 37 this year and aging so early is another insecurity of mine), they're spider-like, they're too "thin" (in that my tendons and veins are clearly visible under the skin's surface on the back of my hands) and my knuckles are a little too imperfect, made all the more visible by how slender they are. And that they swell in the humidity, that the arthritis makes me unable to some days wear my engagement ring and the little copper key ring that both are dear to me...these things make me resent them at times. There's something "wrong" with them (which I know is utter bullshit- they're just hands, they are a part of my body, and they will serve me well until they won't).

I've also dealt with a life-long insecurity about my long legs. Dancer legs (14 years of ballet, many of tumbing, many of tap, and a few of jazz). Legs with strength and grace, but also lanky legs. I'm all leg. Legs that won't quit. Unwanted attention from a cluster of frat boys while I was walking in a short dress with my mother on the campus of Michigan State University and was still in high school. I stopped wearing shorts. I stopped wearing skirts above my knees. Because my knees are too angular (like the rest of me), knobby, and damaged thanks to scars from a surgery in the attempt to save the right one from the arthritis that started with it and has crept into other areas of my body. Again, attention in a moment I definitely didn't want it cracked and broke the self-esteem that has, for some reason, always been fragile. For years, I've been sensitive about my legs, initially because of the scars, small and faded as they are. But the trauma that one knee left me with, that my arthritis continually brings back, continually reminds me exists, gifted me with deep insecurities about my knees, compounded with the dipshit comments of adult men to a teenage child.

I've never seen these things as valuable. At their best, they are body-neutral. At their lowest, they are things that bring shame, doubt, embarrassment, unwanted attention and gaping.

And so, when I am a young adult a decade ago, just turning 27, pregnant with my first child, my body a mess from the pregnancy (from swelling, the awfulness of weight gain is to arthritic knees, the looseness of my hips that shift in ways I know aren't normal, the intense lower back pain, and the nausea that never abates), I see Thor. And there on screen is a young man only a few years older than myself with lanky legs and long, elegant fingers. In that moment, I'm drawn to how theses features don't put me off in the way they do in myself. I seem something of a commonality with this rising star in a movie that is essentially space Shakespeare that stars one of my favourite heavyweight actors (Sir Anthony Hopkins) and is directed by an artist I have admired for years at that point. The entire movie stands out to me and thrills me, calling to me as theatre on the silver screen, the Shakespearean and classical acting evident and threaded throughout the entire thing.

And it is beautiful to me.

And so is this man with features I'd rejected in myself, one a decade (my legs) and one only for a few years (my hands).

It probably seems odd that this moment was a branching point in the way I've handled these insecurities, but it was. I still won't wear skirts that show my legs. I still refuse to wear shorts. But these things also come from the habit of not shaving my legs, not generally because I resent they are long and lanky, just like the rest of me. Every movie I've seen with Tom Hiddleston when I feel myself smile at this lovely human (physically) who also has a public persona that is witty and soft-spoken, a nerd about theatre, who likes to explain acting process, who digs into literature with excitement...there's a moment of realization that I'm finding someone on my "tea list" (I'm mostly asexual- it's not a snog/shag list, it's a "take tea with and fall into the joy of conversation" list) that has a body with a few features like mine. And while I'm primarily smiling because seeing those performances brings me deep happiness, there's a corner of my mind that is reminded I am OK as I am, I need to just accept this is the body I have, and I can embrace it as what it is and let it do for me what I need it to, taking pride in the capabilities I have in these moments and reminding myself I am always running from time in a countdown before this auto-immune disorder steals these things from me.

So...strangely enough, Tom Hiddleston is attractive to me because his existence as he is reminds me that my physical being is alright.

There is a part of me that would really like him to know this. I don't know why. But I think it would be nice for him to know that his existence on this planet hasn't just made people happy because of his skills, but that it has reassured one person that their body can be fine, maybe even beautiful or elegant (in time), just because he is.

[wwakeup]

I started to think about my history today, I was thinking about a photo album of my childhood I was given, about how inside of it it had a paper I remember bullshitting for my English final in high school. I got an A. I wrote about how wonderful and loving and giving my grandmother was. That same school year I wrote an essay for college where I spoke of the struggle, abuse, and neglect I faced. I remember asking while writing that essay so many times, is this graded, are the teachers going to read it, is the school going to see it? I didn't have the words to connect it all then, but I remember feeling so afraid that the school would find out my true feelings, because of the fear my grandmother instilled in me.

I remembered then, in middle school I found a teacher I really connected to, one I was willing to share my personal life with, someone I knew really and truly wanted to help me. So I told them. I got brought to the guidance room and spoke for a bit, I wasn't really trusting but I did say things that troubled them. So they brought my grandmother in, and asked me to talk about my problems with the guidance counselor with my grandmother in the room. I didn't. I knew I was going to hear about it on the way home. The first thing I heard when we got in the car was "you're just like your mother, starting drama for no reason." I finished out that school year and never felt trust in adults again. This is that point in your life where you act out, act like a 'teen'. I quickly learned all that did was make my life so much more miserable. I stopped getting fed. I never felt love, physical touch, embraces or kisses. No positive enforcement, no positive anything. So I started to act out on myself, from middle school until almost the end of high school, I cried myself to sleep every. Single. Night. Some nights if I was too loud, she'd bang on my door and tell me to shut up. So I hid in the closet and cried because then she couldn't hear me.

I remember the anger and jealousy I used to feel of everyone who didn't have to live with her. Of my cousin who she doted on, but I was just so happy that when he came over I got to eat real food and didn't have to fish for quarters so I could get a slice of pizza. I remember wishing so hard every time a family function was over, people would see the fear I felt and speak up and save me like a damsel in a story book. Of course it never did. I already said, I had lost my trust in adults, even the ones I could call family. I remember after every function, if I didn't sleep my grandma would yell at me for this or that. I'd learn to pretend to sleep so she wouldn't bother.

It wasn't until at least a year of me being completely gone from her that I realized how much abuse I was suffering. I used to not like to call it that, because I thought abuse put bruises on your body, but I realize now that I have bruising on my soul, on my heart, and it's long healing. Sometimes it comes back like a bad penny, and I get so mad because it's not her, it's not the same, right? But those triggers are still there, and I can't blame myself for feeling the fear when they happen, I need to value the wins, the times where I can cope with a normal trigger in a healthy way and can communicate clearly.

This is me communicating.

I always felt like my family played a 'don't see, don't hear, don't speak' when it came to my conditions, but I truly think they never understood how bad it was. I was never held by her, I was never told "I love you, I care," I was never told I was good enough, I was always told how I was lacking, how ugly or fat or stupid I was. I'm too emotional, I'm too quiet, I'm too loud, I'm too much, I'm too much, I'm too much.

I'm done playing nice with my abuser, and I'm done acting like it never happened. I'm allowed to heal, and pretending it didn't happen for everyone's comfort is no longer my priority. I have to be my own priority.

I called this history because I'm making it history, calling it a past means it'll always be a part of how I make decisions and excuses for making bad ones. This is history, and it's meant to be learnt from.

[liljungie]

Young Blood | Mafia AU

▸Pairing : Jimin ↮ Reader ↮ Taehyung.

▸ ！warnings！= !mentions of domestic violence!

▸Word count: 3k

▸ Part three : ❝ Ties that bind ❞

▸Masterlist

A/N: can you Please leave me kind messages? I really need it rn...LITERALLY anything.

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You step aside after opening the door for jimin who carefully places your daughter in her carseat."You know where to find me if you change your mind" jimin tells you walking back to the apartment complex leaving you alone with your racing mind without sparing you a glance. You refused his offer. The risk is high and you didn't want to put your daughter's life on the line so you turned jimin down.

You shut the door a bit louder than you intended out of frustration and made your way to the other side of the car to start driving home.

Your phone battery died a long time ago and you started to prepare yourself mentally for taehyung's fight match. But it was only 1 am you doubt that he'll be home this early. Regardless you knew an argument is going to happen because you didn't pick up any of his calls. Although it made you wonder why his guards didn't bust thorough jimin's apartment you had Luna's tracking device on her so surely it altered taehyung on her whereabouts...but maybe that's why he didn't came in like a hurricane.

You reached for the tracking device in the back carefully taking it out of Luna's front pocket to your sheer horror the device battery was dead. You curse under your breath tossing it at the backseat out of anger. Nothing seems to go how you want it to and it was so frustrating. Your driving pace picked up and you were out of the crowded city in a blink of an eye.

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Carrying Luna in one hand and opening the door with the other was a task you couldn't master. Eventually the door opened you didn't know if it was for how you cursed at it or because you kept jamming in the key hoping it works. but it was finally open.

You gently lay her down on her little bed, you take off her shoes and pull the covers tucking her in. You shut her bedroom door and sigh of relief that she didn't wake up at all.

Your little one was getting so big that you were craving a glass of water after carrying her. So you made your way to the kitchen but your walking came to a halt when you saw your husband casually sitting on the couch that faced the staircase. "Welcome home...took you long enough" taehyung remarks you sigh walking down the last few steps that were left. "Taehyung please luna is sleeping let's not do this" you tell him begging him with your eyes that he doesn't start a riot at this hour of the night.

"Where were you and why the fuck is your tracking device still here when you're out God knows where!" He yelled taking you by surprise as he stood up from the seat towering over you with a death stare.

"Relax...we came back in one piece there's no need for any of this" you say walking past him to the kitchen to have that glass of water however he yanks you so you're facing him again "weren't you the one who was afraid of something bad happening and what do you do? You go without the one thing that could bring you back!" He shouts "tell me how the hell am I supposed to know where you or my baby are if something were to happen!" You pull your arm away from his grip "nothing happened so chill out!" You roll your eyes trying to walk away from him "for the record I took Luna's tracking device" you reassure as you fill up the glass with water. You could see steam coming out of his ears. Taehyung was livid "then why the fuck don't I see it on here huh?" He points to his smart watch that he tracks the devices from.

Crap it completely slipped from your mind you swallow the lump in your throat "the battery died" you bite your lip. If taehyung was mad a minute ago now he'll skin you alive. He takes the glass from your hand slamming it in the sink "are you out of your damn mind!" He walks forward and you walk backwards afraid of colliding with him. "What if you or our fucking girl gets kidnapped huh?!...what the fuck will I do then? You'll blame me for it you'll say that I didn't protect her you'll hate me for not being a good fucking father you'll curse me for losing our child you'll blame me for everything! When it's your fucking fault" he snaps you avoid looking in his eyes "I won't blame you for anything! we were just in the city...it's not far away I'm just as careful as you are over her..trust me" you tell him softly.

"What were you doing in the city? for fuck's sake that's where all the other gangs hideouts are" he groans walking away from you while rubbing his temples, you were giving him all different types of headaches...new ones that got on every nerve of his. Deep down you'll admit you were so dumb for not charging Luna's tracking device you didn't know what you'll do with yourself if something happened to her because of your mind slipping.

"Would you Please stop...I went to visit a friend-" you hesitate to speak but you knew taehyung won't get off your back until he's satisfied with an answer "a friend?" He raises his eyebrow tapping his bottom lip with his pointer finger, he sighs while brushing his hair back "a friend?!" He laughs "you're supposed to be dead to them! What fucking friend!" He yells not believing how naively you were acting. Risking your and your daughter's life for seeing 'a friend'.

"It's jimin" you say his eyes snap back up when he hears jimin's name roll out of your mouth  "Luna wanted to see jimin so I took her to h-" he cuts you off "bullshit!" He graps you by your throat slamming you against the wall. You shudder at the suddenness as you choke on your breath. "Tell me what's going on between you and Jimin and this is the last time I ask nicely!" He shouts you squirm in your spot "n-nothing!" He pulls you forward only to slam you against the wall again and you let out a cry "I said tell me!" His voice booms through the mansion making the hair on your body stand.

His grip on your neck was suffocating that your eyes started to roll to the back of your head, you could see death standing behind taehyung's back, lurking.

You found little strength left in you and started to hit taehyung's hand hoping that your punches were strong enough to knock his arm off of you. Tears roll down your cheeks you eyes were going to pop out of their sockets every little vain in them was burning red that taehyung himself saw how your eyes was gonna lose their light if he held you the way he's holding you a minute longer. For a brief second he didn't want to let go "Daddy you're killing her!" A little voice shouted.

Both of your heads turned towards a sobbing Luna standing on the staircase holding out her little arms. Something in taehyung snaps and he pulls away from you too quick that you fall to the floor dying to breathe Luna runs to you crying and whimpering. She calls out your name softly while holding your head in her lap as she wipes away your tears. "Mommy don't leave me please mommy wake up please-" she cries louder when you don't reply to her.

the wind returns to your lungs and you hug your daughter as you cry in her lap and she cradles you in her arms crying with you but of relief.

On the other hand Taehyung never hated himself as much as he do now, seeing his daughter and you in that state, the guilt was eating him up so painfully that he couldn't stay here to hear your sobs or how Luna as little as she is tell you that it'll be okay. She's too young to witness all of this. The last thing taehyung wanted is for his children to live how he lived. In an environment like this. Watching his parents fight and hurt each other and hurting others not to mention running a mafia gang to top it all off. It's all apart of taehyung now it's his roots and it's who he is Although he doesn't want Luna to grow up and be exactly like...him.

After taehyung was out of sight you sat up cradling your daughter in your arms as you wipe away your tears and trying to calm Luna down her sniffles were tugging on your heart strings and it just hurt you a lot you kissed the top of her head while getting up and started walking towards her room you made sure to lock the door then you got in and cuddled with Luna in her tiny bed drifting off to sleep. Hoping to God that you don't relive what you just went through in your dreams.

When your eyes flutter open again the sun was shining through the big window, it was quite and peaceful Luna's short breaths were the only sound you heard along with the chirping birds outside...you wished it was always this peaceful. Just you and your babygirl. No taehyung no mafia no father in law trying to kidnap your baby and no long lost love that was still hanging in the air not knowing if you should follow it or let go. Seems like you were chasing the clouds.

You got up and walked to the little dresser, taehyung's grip colored your skin with deep purple and blue marks you winced when you traced them gently you sigh as you look away from your reflection. Too ashamed to look at who you've become.

Weak. Miserable. You became your worst nightmare and that's when you started crying again. You place your hands on your mouth to muffle the sound of your cries. This is not how you imagined your life would be. This is not the life you worked so hard for. This is not the life you deserved. But then again...you killed. You tortured people you hunted down groups and ambushed places and spilled blood like it was water... like the people you  killed didn't have a family waiting for them to come back home,maybe this was your karma. For all your wrong doings.

But no human could ever bare such burdens. You knew that if you kept suppressing all that hurt all that anger all that sadness all that pain you'd never survive long enough to see Luna's prom dress...hell you weren't sure if you'll be there for when she starts going to school with taehyung's behavior and your relationship with him ripping in sherds and taehyung is catching up with you and jimin...everything is starting to crumble beneath your feet and all you're able to do is sit back and watch.

You couldn't fight back, there's nothing left for you...you care about and love Luna but you're not being a good mother to her or so that's what you're starting to think. You deserved what taehyung did to you last night. how could you forget to charge her tracking device! Why were you that reckless in the first place? is getting to jimin was all that was on your mind? That everything else didn't matter... what would you do if you returned and she wasn't with jimin?

You shake your head when you hear Luna walking around in the room. You need to be strong...just a little longer until you find a way out...an escape...a golden ticket to freedom. For you and your daughter and if you couldn't escape you wanted to save her. You want her to live a peaceful life you want her to marry a man or a woman she's in love with. you want a normal job for her a job that doesn't involve killing and stealing and being the dirts of the earth.

The one thing that you did right was having her. And you're not planning on ruining it.

You splash your face with cold water and head towards your sleepy baby you pick her up and place her in your lap. Brushing her hair behind her ears "good morning princess" you tell her softly kissing her chubby cheeks "mornin mommy" she says in pout making you hold her tighter in your arms. "My cutie...how did I get so lucky!" You kiss her cheeks and forehead and anywhere you can as she giggles in your arms and squirms..her laughter was music to your ears. You felt much better after hearing her laugh and seeing her smile. After last night...the way she was crying made your heart bend and break.

"Don't you want breakfast?" You ask her. She nods furiously "please...I want froothoops" she tells you "frootloops?" You ask giggling "yea that!" She smiles you laugh "let's go prepare it then yeah?" You place her on the ground and she runs to the door waiting for you to unlock it you smile and do so and watch her run infront of you. Too excited to have breakfast. Oh how you miss the day where your biggest problem was what to eat for breakfast...

You pour the milk in and Luna insists that she's a big girl now and can pour the cereal without spilling it all over the kitchen island and you agree after a lot of begging of course. She actually pours it in the plate and not twenty feet away from it. You smile proudly at her and praise her then you place her in her baby chair and go over to start the coffee machine.

While the coffee is brewing and Luna is too busy on her learning apps you hit the call button pressing the phone to your ear.

"Hello?"

"...is the offer still available?"

"What offer?..."

"Jimin...let's runway...you , me and Luna"

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